Jump to content
Sign in to follow this  
  • entries
    20
  • comments
    30
  • views
    1,252

Not sure how to feel

Sign in to follow this  
Ratvan

400 views

Well now, I have been struggling with how to put this into words all afternoon. I had an appointment at my local hospital today. It was for the results of the tests that they have been running for almost 18 months. I have felt numb since the diagnosis. It just seems weird, like it's not happening to me. I feel removed from my body and mind right now. 

The Dr. Was very good, gave me my diagnosis and explained to me what this meant in terms of treatments, side effects and gave me a load of information and contacts for support groups. I already have a will in place so at least I dont need to undertake this while I process the information. 

Starting from tomorrow my treatment is going to be 2 aspirin, 4 times a day to thin my blood enough for my monthly (at the moment) phlebotomy treatments. Thankfully the Dr did not see any issues for me at the moment in terms of exercise and activities. I am really enjoying my martial arts and want to compete in the near future. We need to see how the first three or four sessions go before we can discuss other treatment options that maybe available. 

So since then I have pretty much been staring into space, or on here chatting with other members. Trying to help in any small way that I can. I honestly dont remember my walk from work to the station but since I am on the train I know that must have happened. 

I dont feel too bad or shocked, I had pretty much made my mind up before the diagnosis that I'd be more likely to have this then not. Although there is no science to this at all.

****. What a day

Sign in to follow this  


4 Comments


Recommended Comments

Damn. I'm very sorry about your diagnosis.

I was similarly numb after I got diagnosed with kidney cancer, even though it actually confirmed my worst fear, as I had watched my grandad die of cancer when I was 12.

Share this comment


Link to comment
14 hours ago, JD4010 said:

Damn. I'm very sorry about your diagnosis.

I was similarly numb after I got diagnosed with kidney cancer, even though it actually confirmed my worst fear, as I had watched my grandad die of cancer when I was 12.

Thank you but it is okay. I was more annoyed at the reaction from the NHS staff for the lack of reaction on my part.

The plus side is that I don't really have to change all that much as I already undertake most of the things they recommend for dealing with Cancer and Phlebotomy. Although I could become more tired and snappy after my bloodletting sessions...

I've let my brother know that he may want to get tested for this as well, I lost both my Grandparents to this Christmas 2017 and i'm fairly sure that it was the straw that broke my mother's strength and caused her suicide at the same time (more or less)

I'm just really struggling with how to tell people without them changing their opinions or attitudes towards me.

I have another meeting in a few weeks time where we will discuss whether or not I am eligible for Chemo Therapy and if i want to receive treatment, leaning towards no chemo at the moment. I remember seeing my family go through it and I really want to avoid it if i can.

The plus side is that even though Polycythemia Vera is curable the symptoms are treatable, however over time there is a chance (mine is 90%) that it may progress into a more serious condition such as myelofibrosis or even acute leukemia. Also under my GP's direction I have been told that I am still ok to fight in June. I will have to have an X Ray to check on my spleen after the fight but nothing more

Fantastic

Share this comment


Link to comment

I just realized that a friend of mine has the very same thing as you do. He's turning 60 this year. He's still doing well.

His recommendation? Get thee some weeeed.

Share this comment


Link to comment

That's cool? Wrong word but you know what I mean? How long has he been diagnosed? 

I'm 33 and in "progressive stages" whatever that means. 

Hmmmm weed..... I been 100% sober for over a year (minus one hiccup) and kind of liking it. Also last I checked people here still putting shit on it for £££. Sugar, sand, fibreglass you name it. Its horrific. It's also illegal but pfft 

Share this comment


Link to comment
×
×
  • Create New...