Tonight was probably the worst Al-Anon meeting ever. Not because of the people but because of the subject matter. Since I was sexually abused as a child and as an adult, I have grown to view sex with disgust. The mere thought of getting "intimate" with anyone invokes an immediate urge to vomit. Even someone touching me without expecting it makes my skin crawl. I have three children only because I was taught that sex was expected, not a choice. Since I have been made aware by my therapist that I do have a choice, I have chosen asexuality as my lifestyle, and have happily embraced my non-sex life for twelve blissful years! Tonight in our meeting we read from this book called "Intimacy and Alcoholism" or something like that. I wanted to jump up and run out as soon as the first sentence was read aloud. Maybe I should have. I was triggered so heavily that I now have a raging migraine, my eye is twitching, and I have physical sharp pains all throughout my body. FCK. Tonight's meeting SUCKED for me, and now I feel way worse than before I went, worse than I have felt in a long while.