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Feeling scared

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I'm scared that I might be heading down that slippery slope into depression again. It could have started with Post-traumatic stress symptoms which added on to the ongoing vicarious trauma and eventually burn out that I might be experiencing.

I'm scared because I don't want to go down that road again, but I am suspicious and I am feeling lousy that I am not doing as well as I hoped (although I know I shouldn't compare with the many out there who can't get a job)

I am scared because I know if I need time to recover, but why is it always me that needs time to recover from a possible burn out. What is it that I am not doing well enough? 

I'm tired and I'm scared. I'm stressed and I'm worried.

I don't feel safe and I feel like I am not good enough (when it may not be true).

I cannot see the world the same way because I feel that everyone is just out there to do harm. I think, that is in part due to vicarious trauma.

You can tell my thoughts are all over the place because they jump from point to point...

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Your feelings are so close to mine I swear we could be the same person. I also suffer from PTS and MDD. Although our journeys here were perhaps different, the outcome is identical. Although I function and am considered successful, I am always filled with self-doubt. I cannot explain it or give you advice; all I can say is, I get it. I 1000% get where you are. 

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