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Tell no one

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It's been a while since I wrote last time. Maybe some of you have been wondering how things are with me. 

I've been at home since last Friday. The kids have a winter break from school this week so that's why they let me home. We were on a cruise to Sweden and kids really enjoyed being on a cruise liner. I spent good time relaxing in a cabin while kids were exploring the ship. 

We are also celebrating my son's 13th birthday this week. I can't believe I am a mother to a teenager. I also took a liberty to celebrate for my 13 years of motherhood and went out last night. My doctor specifically told me not to drink but I thought what harm could it do. Well, I regret it now. Alcohol doesn't suit me at all. Wish I understood my limits better. I guess it would be better for my illness not to drink. 

Anyway, this week has been great. My moods are allright and suicidal thoughts have decreased dramatically. I believe it's Lithium that evens out not just my moods but my thoughts too. I haven't taken any extra pills or cut myself. That's really something. 

Next week I'll be back at the ward as a day patient. I think that's very good. Next week is different from this one when the whole family has been at home. Hardest part of my day has been when the kids are at school and I am left alone so it's good I have hospital environment supporting me. 

It will be very hard for me to build a day routine. At the hospital I've been learning the basics again but I am not very confident I can keep up the routines at home. Just have to give it a try. Maybe write down on a paper to see if that helps. 

This post turned out more like a random rant. Maybe try to stick on one topic next week. 

Have a great weekend! 


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I'm glad you're doing better - improved mood and functionality. The cruise might have been a little challenging, sounds like you managed it very well. 

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I’m happy that things are beginning to come together for you.  Continue to work on yourself and hopefully you will be able to do all the things that you have dreamed about doing when you return home.  I wish you nothing but the best as you continue to move forward 

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