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Ebb and Flow

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Today started off...weird. This morning I received yet another email from someone I have told many times to buzz off. At first, I was really angry. I felt so defeated. They are an influential member of the community (yeah, well, so was John Wayne Gacy) and it made me feel small and powerless. I'm certain that is this person's goal. 

But then, I got to thinking. This has been going on since 2016, and I have proof that I have written and called this person repeatedly to stop bothering me. So after I mustered enough energy to shower and dress, I drove to my local police station to see about a protective order. The officer was polite and sympathetic, and got right to business. I forwarded all my emails and phone logs to the officer. The emergency protective order is now in effect.

While I can't be certain this jerk will stop harrassing me, it was so empowering to finally say "Enough!" and take definitive action instead of my normal m.o., which is to lay down in defeat whining Woe is me. But screw that horsesh*t!! By God, I'd had enough! It felt great standing up for myself for a change! 

Put such a positive spin on my day, that I came home, put on something that made me feel pretty, brushed my teeth, put on some make-up (what?!), called a close friend and hung out the rest of the day with them at some local shops. We had an absolute blast. 

What a stark contrast to the first two days of my weekend. Instead of letting my anger defeat me and using it to crawl further into my grave, I used it as a catalyst to escape, however briefly, into the sunlight.

A rare and cherished occurence, I felt like a normal, actual, engaged person today. A most excellent day. 

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