Not random kindnesses bestowed upon me, but random kindnesses I freely gave. Lots of them, too, like a snowball effect, the more I did, the more I wanted to do. Doing nice things without expecting anything gave me a sense of fulfillment. Does this mean that being selfless is...selfish? I once heard a doctor with Doctors Without Borders answer the question "Why do you do this?" with the following answer: "For the most selfish reason in the world. Because it feels good."
Maybe for the very first Valentine's Day in my life, I'm content instead of bitter, even though I'm just as alone. Except that also, for the very first Valentine's Day ever, I truly don't feel alone. I prayed many times today, silently, earnestly talking to God in my head. And I really do feel that God is here.
Peace is a lovely respite.