You know, it occurs to me that I do not have a very good work - life balance. And my saying that should be taken as a massive understatement probably. I have no life outside of work. I can't afford one - we only have basic bills, we can't pare anything down anymore. No safety net (ie savings or credit cards)... it's hard to try to have a life when you cannot afford to leave the house, you know? I guess, now that I think about it, there are things I could do.
I've tried crocheting recently. It's been a few weeks since I picked it up, but I am working on a scarf. I"ll have to show you when I get it done enough. At the moment, it could either be a scarf or a really big dish cloth, LOL. I'm only doing single stitch crochet, and just barely at that. But it's something. I keep trying counted cross stitch, but it's so detail oriented, I get tired of it after a while.
I'm also writing again, sort of. I've put down my Supernatural - Doom fanfiction for a while, and my original Supernatural fanfiction. I started a version of Supernatural that incorporates more 'Christian' beliefs. I'm not very far into it - only about 15 pages or so - and I'm just getting to the part where I need to figure out how these changes affect Sam and Dean Winchester, and specifically their lives 'in canon'. How much will change? So far, I've primarily dealt with Castiel and some other side characters I made up.
For me, the hardest part of writing has not been the actual writing - it has been the research and thinking. I finally had to put my Supernatural-Doom AU fanfiction down because I had so many re-starts in the beginning (re-working it because there was a serious flaw in what I came up with) that I just completely lost the story in my head. I set it down nearly a month ago and haven't picked it up again. That taught me a lesson - certain things need to be thought through before I start typing. Because having to interrupt that process once I get started really ruins my ability to continue writing the story. I am also wondering if in those cases I should just keep writing the story out the way I had planned, flaws and all, and then re-work it. But some of the flaws I felt were too big - big enough to influence where the rest of the story went. So I kept re-starting.
It's been probably two months or so since I picked up my original Supernatural fanfiction, the one that started all this. Well, that's a lie. It's really Sherlock (BBC series) that started it. Just like in real life, how Sherlock was the original fandom. Sherlock is the fandom that started it all. When Doyle tried to kill off Sherlock, fans protested in large numbers, wearing black mourning armbands. He had to bring Sherlock back. So we are the first - fitting therefore that my start in writing fanfiction should be with Sherlock. I haven't published it on AO3 yet, though. It really sucks, actually. My Watson is far too open and comfortable with his sexuality to be true to Watson in the series. Watson in the series is a stereotypical repressed Englishman. Feelings, what? I haven't figured out how to fix that.
As far as my own original story, I am also stuck there. I'd really like to write a dragon story set in relatively modern urban setting. Hardly anyone does that seriously, and when they do, it's always in terms of shifters. But my imagination is still locked in 'McAffrey Pern' Mode. If you've read Anne McAffrey's Pern series, you'll know what I mean. If not, what I am referring to is sentient telepathic dragons and humanoid riders in a pre-industrial setting. I'd like to transfer that over to a relatively modern urban setting, without making it steampunk or going too far back to early industrial / Edwardian / Victorian times. I'd like to stick with current time, or slightly in the future, without being dystopian.
But there are so many moving parts - can you imagine the US military industrial complex if someone bio-engineered dragons? Forget the size for now, just the concept; size brings its own problems, too. And how expensive would that be initially to 'own' one? And how does a sentient dragon population affect culture, societal norms, and the previously mentioned military industrial complex? History has shown us how long it took for us to consider our fellow humans - who happen to have a darker skin tone - as human. And they look like us. In many ways, we are still struggling with race as a society, at least in the US. And like I said, that is our fellow humans. How much more difficult would it be for humanity to admit that dragons are sentient and have the same right to self determination as humans? And that doesn't even count starting on characterizations.
I have two completely different story ideas in my head - one pre-industrial and one tentatively future modern. I know that if I can get it straight in my head, I can write it. I'm still not sure about my ability to grasp characterization, though. One of many things I am not sure about. Oh, and I still haven't mentioned my Christian-based Armegeddon storyline....
Anyway, enough rambling on. Time to put the old nose to the grindstone so to speak.