So it seems today is one of my down days, nothing particularly triggered this but I have been very easy to annoy.
People at work are getting on my nerves lately, everyone knows what I have been through as I am very open about my moods, diagnosis and what has happened to me.
And still I still get shit
I think it is a general lack of understanding, until you encounter the pain and loss there is nothing really that comes close to this.
I get things like "It's been over a year", "forgive them for your sake" on a constant basis, I just ignore it now. Well i try too
Yes it has been over a year, it still hurts and what saddens me is that I have been without them for so long and I know that i'll have to go on even longer without them. The passing of time hasn't made things easier, but it has changed my feelings. I can now look back and laugh and smile at things that would make me cry 6 months ago. It's going to take a long time and I'm going to be very sad for a long time, but i am okay.
The Other one "you need to forgive them, for your sake" this one gets me the most irate. It has taken me ages to love myself to hate this person. I have been through my own personal hell with little to no help. I have a right to have this feeling and I will not let it go because it suits you
Mini Rant over