She was allright. The doctor, I mean. I met her for the first time and she totally heard and read me. I wish to stay with her. My doctors have been coming and going after every appointment.
My thoughts are all over the place right now. The appointment raised so many questions and thoughts. The outcome was slightly different than expected. Good I guess however.
We talked about ect, medication, hospital and sick leave.
I was thinking of asking for two or three months sick leave but the doctor thought I need to take a real time-out. So, I got six months of more sick leave. I don't know what to think. I had already planned in my head how things would play out for me. This changes everything.
The doctor suggested I should be back in a hospital. I was expecting it and hoping for that but I can't make that decision alone. This affects the whole family and I feel like I have to discuss with my husband and kids before making up my mind. The doctor will call me again next week about the decision. I really don't know what to do.
If I go back to the ward I will get ect and new meds faster. The situation is that bad no changes on medication can be done without a safe environment. So either I wait and suffer or I go to hospital and leave my husband to take care of everything alone. I am afraid if I agree going to the hospital they will keep me weeks there.
So lot of thinking needs to be done. Maybe making a list of cons and pros or just trusting my instinct. The doctor gave me time till Wednesday.