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Something needed to talk about; Food and Weight; More incense; Magazine; Joy

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I'm embarrassed to talk about this, but hoping I can get into one of the forums here to talk about some stuff going on in my life right now that needs to be dealt with before it gets worse. So funny, and ironic, that there's nothing online about it unless you pay (forums included) so I wonder... if it's such a problem among people, why is there no help out there for free?

I ate spaghetti tonight. And ate too much. My stomach is almost distinted (however you spell it) because of it. Lately I've been out of what so terribly. I haven't been walking like usual; I haven't been eating my fruits enough. I've had a problem with something that I cannot talk about right here right now, yet. I feel like I'm gaining weight after I tried so hard to lose it.

I've been freezing my pop drinks all day today. Sam's cola, then Mountain citrus (Like Pepsi and Mountain Dew except 3 dollars less). I've had to pee a lot today too. But I guess that's good. Keep it flowing. Mom bought me some grapes the other day and they weren't due to be old until tomorrow, but yesterday they were molded and pussed. Gross. We paid $4.22 for them. Got 'em at IGA. I guess I'll have to go to Kroger or Walmart for them then. IGA's stuff is gone yuck. I like to dip my fruits in the cream cheese fruit dip. It's so good, but I must use it wisely, not put as much on my fruits as I have been. It'll cause me to gain even more weight.

I'm burning Egyptian Musk and Nag Champa incenses now. I got a new burner in the mail today. It's huge! It fits about 15 sticks at once, if you wanted to use all of it, but I wouldn't do that. Not in a small area. I usually use two at a time, and sometimes mix the scents, as long as they go together.

Found a magazine online that I wanted to get in print form. However, I thought it would be once a month and it's only quarterly. I paid $19.99. I should have made sure how many I'd get first. I guess it would be like paying $5.00 a magazine, now. Oh well. It's called Light of Consciousness. It's a New-Age type magazine with lots of stuff about Yoga and meditation.

Today I felt a sense of JOY most of the day. Usually I only feel the JOY for about 2 seconds, then it leaves me in sorrow and despair again. I don't know what's different, but I think the Universe is keeping the bad away from me. I noticed I rarely time-travelled today (going mentally into past or future). Maybe that's why. I need to stay and be present at all times. *CLAP* Present!!

I hope everyone's doing okay/good. I tried to upload a video on my other post's comments, but it hasn't been approved by a moderator yet. I thought it would just bring some smiles for you guys.

Thank you all for being here. Remember, you are loved and needed. NO matter what your feelings tell you. I'll notice if you're ever gone. Trust me. You are loved and needed, always.

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