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SIGH.... My Mother is Intruding on Wedding Plans

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UGH. My mother wants me to wear her garter belt for my non-traditional wedding???? We have no guests! She also today told me I should wear our family jewelry. I don't want to! I bought a gorgeous jewelry headpiece to wear, a turquoise and blue flowery type of headpiece, and I want the rest of my jewelry to be turquoise topaz to match. I saw a gorgeous earring and necklace set on Etsy today that I'd love to buy. 

The bottom line is that my mother is upset she is not attending the wedding, and she wants to be involved somehow, but that involvement is now evolving into her being somewhat controlling about what I wear at my own wedding?! I am a bit annoyed, even though I am 100% compassionate towards her given her feelings. I, too, want to involve her, but I want to wear what I want, not what she wants!!!! It IS my wedding after all, right??? And it should be exactly how my fiance and I want it to be, not how others want it to be, right??? Isn't that my right here? Especially given that WE are paying for the whole thing ourselves???? I am a bit beside myself. 

ARGH. Why does this have to be so difficult when it comes to family? 

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