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2019

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allalone6

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So I tried for 9 days from just before christmas to new years to try to make arrangements with an acquaintance to give her and her daughter a christmas present. some texts didnt get answered til days later, and some had excuses and the last one, this past saturday....no response. so i gave up, and dropped the presents on her door step this past wednesday. still havent heard from her. Then today, I had a meeting with a client who is one of her good friends, and he mentioned in passing how he was over their house for new years eve and heard from her that morning. so she is fine...its obviously me. i know i need to move on, ive told myself that for years, but then once in a blue moon she reaches out for something (not really to hang out but to ask a question) and i stupidly want to hold on.

 

the friendship as been over for years. just like every lost friendship ive had...i tend to not want to let go. 

 

so heres to 2019....hoping for less heartache...sadness...and loneliness and. for more strength to come to terms with it all

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Hi. People can be so cruel without effort and I wonder sometimes whether it's known that being decent doesn't actually require tremendous effort.

It says something rather sad about your friend that she couldn't be bothered to arrange to receive gifts. Though the compassionate person in me wonders if she couldn't manage it due to feeling shame at being unable to reciprocate.

Sorry your 2019 began with this sad and disappointing example. 

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17 hours ago, Atra said:

Hi. People can be so cruel without effort and I wonder sometimes whether it's known that being decent doesn't actually require tremendous effort.

It says something rather sad about your friend that she couldn't be bothered to arrange to receive gifts. Though the compassionate person in me wonders if she couldn't manage it due to feeling shame at being unable to reciprocate.

Sorry your 2019 began with this sad and disappointing example. 

we always exchange. but even so...acknowledgement of the presents i left at her house would of been nice. I care about her and really dont want to lose her as a contact, and i dont think she would intentionally hurt me, but who knows, my thinking is clouded anyhow. 

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13 hours ago, allalone6 said:

we always exchange. but even so...acknowledgement of the presents i left at her house would of been nice. I care about her and really dont want to lose her as a contact, and i dont think she would intentionally hurt me, but who knows, my thinking is clouded anyhow. 

If you don't wish to think it's rudeness or insensitivity, there are other possibilities. Perhaps something distressing happened in your friend's life over the holidays. Something perhaps too disturbing or too shameful to share with you or another friend at this time which explains the erratic behavior. Or she's embarrassed and can't seem to figure out how to make a repair with you. All guesses, of course. 

Will you reach out to her, do you think?

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On 1/5/2019 at 1:37 AM, Atra said:

If you don't wish to think it's rudeness or insensitivity, there are other possibilities. Perhaps something distressing happened in your friend's life over the holidays. Something perhaps too disturbing or too shameful to share with you or another friend at this time which explains the erratic behavior. Or she's embarrassed and can't seem to figure out how to make a repair with you. All guesses, of course. 

Will you reach out to her, do you think?

She texted me saturday to say thank you for the gifts and that her husband grabbed them on his way out and left them in his truck all that time....I replied back but havent seen or heard from her since. I probably will just leave her alone from here on. If she wanted me to be apart of her life she would make an effort, so i think its best for my mental health to just move on quietly

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