ive been wanting to write but just feel like its so monotonous. its all the same. im sad, im lonely, im still all alone, still not a mother, still friendless and nothing seems to change.
I volunteer, i join meet-up groups, im plastered on multiple dating sites. I continuously reach out to acquaintances despite being ignored. Sometimes i think i try too hard, but then sometimes think im not doing all i can.
maybe instead of trying to change my life, i should just embrace it and learn to cope with it.
i dont know what im doing wrong or what i should work on to be/get better. im lost. and i cant ask anyone for directions.