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Getting up

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I still feel the negative energy and I’m still in a negative space right now. It still lingers on from yesterday. Pain anxiety guilt self pity anger hopelessness feeling lost. Feelings of all these are still lingering on from yesterday.

This morning I tossed out all my weed and caffeine pills, and pre workouts. 

I don’t know where to start and The anxiety and fear of future what might happen gives me anxiety and fear. 

Tomorrow how will I handle it?

what should I do now?

afraid to take steps because of the hopelessness and pain that comes when I fall hard..

ill somehow managed to get through this day. Today I have all to myself. It’s hard to move but I guess I will. I don’t know...

i wanna get back to Eckhart Tolle and maybe even try a short meditation again. I read and heard from ppl how it helped with their chronic anger. 

At this point I just want to have a better handle on my anger and have ability to see things from more calmness and clarity. 

I feel very unbalanced and lost right now. 


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As like your other posts, this is very powerful too. The descriptive words you use to describe things is awesome.

I'm sorry you feel unbalanced. If I may suggest, you may want to look up chakra, and get balanced through it. And meditation music on youtube while you meditate, you know, those beautiful videos of 1 hour length sound only?

It has helped me stay balanced.

Eckhart Tolle is great to listen to. I like to listen to Osho, and lots of others. I can't think right now of their names. Maybe later I can get them.

Keep blogging. I love your blogs.

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