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how do i have a normal life? 

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allalone6

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so i attended a paint nite class. I dont like these types of crafts but im trying to get myself out there and attempt making my life not so lonely. there was about 20 woman there, and i kid you not....every single one was a mom and they literally all bonded over talking about the schools/teachers to sports and programs. and i literally felt so left out, I didnt know a single person. I made idle chit chat with the two people on either side of me, but i also felt like I was interfering on their time with their friends. it was awkward.
 
i remember a time when i used to hem and haw about being just a "back up" friend for certain people.....now sadly, i think I would welcome it. :/ im getting desperate.
 
i changed up my dating profile and have been giving more time to it...emailing others and what not...no response yet...although im not ready to explain why im almost 40 and havent been in a relationship....talk about loads of baggage. 
 
anyways...my mom is getting worse depressed. her negative talk hurts to hear. she constantly says "lifes sucks" and talks about wishing she was dead. She made 3 mentions over this past weekend about not having grandkids. it wasnt directed at me personally, just in general it really really bothers her. (i totally understand how she feels)
 
so the only people in my life (my parents) are also unhappy. how do i fix this? where do i go from here? how do i make things better? how do i have a normal life? 
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@allalone6, I can soooo relate to the things you are saying. Like you, I am close to 40 and have never been in a relationship, as time goes on it seems to be increasingly difficult to connect with people. When I was younger I was definitely the "back up" person for all my friends, someone to talk to when they're down or invite out when no one else was available. Now I live far away from my old friends and we've grown apart in other ways too, they all have families or serious relationships now and are no longer interested in the things we used to do or talk about.

I feel lost, it seems like I have nothing in common with people my age, in terms of life experience and interests I'd be better off around people in their 20s but to them I am an old fart so I don't fit in there either. 

Luckily my parents have just given up on asking me about my romantic life, my brother has a beautiful family so the grandchildren thing isn't an issue either. 

I wish I had some helpful advice, seems like you're doing you best to change the situation but it's definitely an uphill battle. Many people are very suspicious of forever-singles older than 30, the assumption is there must be something seriously wrong. Just keep trying, it's all you can do. I won't promise you that things will change, they may not, but at least you'll be able to say you tried which counts for a lot. Just remember you're not alone, there are more people like us :console:

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