so i attended a paint nite class. I dont like these types of crafts but im trying to get myself out there and attempt making my life not so lonely. there was about 20 woman there, and i kid you not....every single one was a mom and they literally all bonded over talking about the schools/teachers to sports and programs. and i literally felt so left out, I didnt know a single person. I made idle chit chat with the two people on either side of me, but i also felt like I was interfering on their time with their friends. it was awkward.
i remember a time when i used to hem and haw about being just a "back up" friend for certain people.....now sadly, i think I would welcome it. :/ im getting desperate.
i changed up my dating profile and have been giving more time to it...emailing others and what not...no response yet...although im not ready to explain why im almost 40 and havent been in a relationship....talk about loads of baggage.
anyways...my mom is getting worse depressed. her negative talk hurts to hear. she constantly says "lifes sucks" and talks about wishing she was dead. She made 3 mentions over this past weekend about not having grandkids. it wasnt directed at me personally, just in general it really really bothers her. (i totally understand how she feels)
so the only people in my life (my parents) are also unhappy. how do i fix this? where do i go from here? how do i make things better? how do i have a normal life?