As most of you understand and relate to, having a mental illness or struggling with mental health, often times means a drastic variation in thought process and extreme emotional experiences. Reactions to life events may be quite unusual and even outlandish to those fortunate enough to never have the experience of a "broken brain". Although I no longer see my brain as broken but very unique. I do appreciate my brain but at times it is absolutely exhausting to live inside of me. After a week of turbulence, my personal journey of defeat landed safely on solid ground. Every attempt to improve my life, create happiness, and continue on my long road to recovery failed. This left me in a fury and with feelings of total inadequacy. Hysterical at times, I felt as though I was crashing. I had become so desperate and so disoriented that all routine functions ceased. An unfamiliar depression overwhelmed my senses. I didn't bathe, I wasn't leaving the house, and my behavior became erratic. I felt disgusting, useless, and tired.All this being said I thankfully restored myself with the assistance of medication and support. This is simple proof that with long term treatment and support someone like myself can not only survive but thrive. The gigantic brick wall that is the health care system will not keep me from the freedom from my illnesses that I seek. Instead of banging my head against it, I will choose gather every tool I need to climb over it. So I begin another week hopeful that I may stay firmly planted and hold steady. Strength is such a virtuous trait and I must continue to remind myself that I am strong.
Friends, I hope this week brings you strength and solitude. Always remember, YOU GOT THIS!!!