I am not well enough to write this blog anymore. My mind is empty and whatever thoughts are left, they are all over the place. I can't write a whole, rich text with well-grounded opinions and views because my brain is slowing down. I forget things and I've lost track of time. I am constantly lost with what day it is or what time it is.
Slowing down is only few steps away from other cognitive symptoms. I've experienced this few times before. It's really scary and eventually it will lead to psychotic depression. I've been in a situation where I no longer have been able to speak or function.
Writing has always been important to me. It's a way of dealing with emotions and analyzing things. I am not going to stop writing though. I will turn this blog into my diary or mood logger or whatever you want to call it for now. I will write without purpose or ambition. I will write about my feelings and thoughts at that very moment. I will probably write daily to track my moods.
So I welcome you to share my journey of surviving depression. I don't know how many times I've gone this through before. Every time is different. Everytime is harder.