A Rocky Road ~ The Road Less Traveled

Oh @RiverLight I too sometimes feel the same way n feel like ranting out. Sometimes I tend to blame myself for my lack of proper words n understanding that lead to people condemning me.

We do our best to guide people n show them the way, but it’s up to them to take it. We can lead a horse to the water, but we can’t make it drink.

And if it won’t drink, just leave it. Toxic people are always there. That’s another skill we need to learn as we progress - how n when to leave toxic people 

Edited October 9, 2018 by nirah007

At least those people are only on a forum. They can't backstab you & cause you to lose your employment.

10 hours ago, nirah007 said:

Oh @RiverLight I too sometimes feel the same way n feel like ranting out. Sometimes I tend to blame myself for my lack of proper words n understanding that lead to people condemning me.

We do our best to guide people n show them the way, but it’s up to them to take it. We can lead a horse to the water, but we can’t make it drink.

And if it won’t drink, just leave it. Toxic people are always there. That’s another skill we need to learn as we progress - how n when to leave toxic people 

Aw, thank you nirah! Yeah, this person on this other forum really got to me yesterday. It's much more loosely monitored there so ppl get away with being nasty to each other sometimes. And she was nasty!! Saying "isn't that special" when I said that I have a fiance who respects me. It was really not nice.. there's more than that, but yeah, she's got some issues and is very toxic. I had forgotten what it's like dealing with a toxic person!!! You just have to walk away..... 

HUGS!

 

56 minutes ago, iWantRope said:

At least those people are only on a forum. They can't backstab you & cause you to lose your employment.

Very very true!!! Ppl find it easy to be mean to each other though behind a screen. Ugh. 

When someone is in a bad spot, it is difficult for them to see a way out of it. When they are told "You are in control of your own happiness", they feel guilty and attacked because they are struggling to take control of their own actions, let alone mood.

So when they see you improving and building a better life for yourself, they compare themselves and think "River's doing a lot better for herself, and I feel like trash". Some people silently compare and despair, while others lash out of you, especially when guarded by an electronic screen.

I'm sorry people try to bring you down like this, but please understand that the problem is not you, it's their depression

Quote

they feel guilty and attacked

This! Many people who struggle for a long time tend to blame everything on external factors, watching someone succeed and say that everybody can do it feels like an attack to them. Personal responsibility is a hard thing to accept... 

5 hours ago, GhostInTheShellx said:

When someone is in a bad spot, it is difficult for them to see a way out of it. When they are told "You are in control of your own happiness", they feel guilty and attacked because they are struggling to take control of their own actions, let alone mood.

So when they see you improving and building a better life for yourself, they compare themselves and think "River's doing a lot better for herself, and I feel like trash". Some people silently compare and despair, while others lash out of you, especially when guarded by an electronic screen.

I'm sorry people try to bring you down like this, but please understand that the problem is not you, it's their depression

thank you for this perspective, which I do understand fully. However, lashing out at someone is never acceptable just because that someone is envious of you. And being mean and vicious is never acceptable either. While I may understand the why, the behavior is never OK, you know? I certainly don't throw my happiness in others' faces.... not at all. 

4 hours ago, lonelyforeigner said:

This! Many people who struggle for a long time tend to blame everything on external factors, watching someone succeed and say that everybody can do it feels like an attack to them. Personal responsibility is a hard thing to accept... 

YES!!!! happiness is an inside job, and is not based on external factors. Many people refuse to take personal responsibility for themselves and prefer to just say woe is me. 

7 hours ago, GhostInTheShellx said:

When they are told "You are in control of your own happiness", they feel guilty and attacked because they are struggling to take control of their own actions, let alone mood.

I am not sure if you took my original blog post as an attack? Very sorry if you took it that way. It was not an attack against anyone and certainly not here. It was meant to be encouraging, especially since I have climbed out of a deep dark depression several times in my life. 

Edited October 10, 2018 by RiverLight

I cannot comment on any forum drama or the like because I do not frequent this forum.

However we human beings are inherently selfish, we are born that way, it's encoded into our biology and only through developing a great deal of maturity and wisdom can a person easily look beyond their own (lack) of welfare and appreciate other's without envy nor pettiness coming into play.

And to be rather harsh, if anyone is here participating on this forum that's a likely indicator of very difficult life circumstances that are probably not very conductive to developing that level of wisdom or maturity, so those types of reactions are to be expected somewhat.

Beyond that, yes it's fairly cliche but you're essentially right, inaction and passivity are the death of the human spirit. There are too many factors outside our control so maybe even trying our hardest may not solve anything but once we completely stop trying something, no matter how pointless or insignificant in practice, then at that point we may as well all ready be dead because passion, any passion, is what fuels life.

4 hours ago, RiverLight said:

I am not sure if you took my original blog post as an attack? Very sorry if you took it that way. It was not an attack against anyone and certainly not here. It was meant to be encouraging, especially since I have climbed out of a deep dark depression several times in my life. 

No! It was not an attack, I'm just saying that for some people in a depressive state, they can perceive it as an attack because they guilt themselves over "not doing anything" when they are depressed. You are completely innocent

6 hours ago, GhostInTheShellx said:

No! It was not an attack, I'm just saying that for some people in a depressive state, they can perceive it as an attack because they guilt themselves over "not doing anything" when they are depressed. You are completely innocent

Oh, ok good! It wasn't meant to be..... and thanks for clarifying! HUGS. 

9 hours ago, Crimson_Wings said:

I cannot comment on any forum drama or the like because I do not frequent this forum.

However we human beings are inherently selfish, we are born that way, it's encoded into our biology and only through developing a great deal of maturity and wisdom can a person easily look beyond their own (lack) of welfare and appreciate other's without envy nor pettiness coming into play.

And to be rather harsh, if anyone is here participating on this forum that's a likely indicator of very difficult life circumstances that are probably not very conductive to developing that level of wisdom or maturity, so those types of reactions are to be expected somewhat.

Beyond that, yes it's fairly cliche but you're essentially right, inaction and passivity are the death of the human spirit. There are too many factors outside our control so maybe even trying our hardest may not solve anything but once we completely stop trying something, no matter how pointless or insignificant in practice, then at that point we may as well all ready be dead because passion, any passion, is what fuels life.

Thank you for your thoughts! 

I tend to agree with you. This other forum I am on is very different than here. Frankly, I am not even sure why I am on there at this point. I run a blog and get inspired by topics people are talking about and also ask for support from time to time. But it's different than DF and much more loosely monitored. Honestly, if it were more closely monitored, ppl wouldn't have the freedom to be nasty to each other so easily. There would be repercussions, as there are here. 

But I agree about giving up meaning that you might as well be dead to life and dead to passion. Passion is what fueled me to climb out of my own depressions, because I knew there was much more to life than being depressed. Thank you again!

Words carry weight. Sometimes a simple thought, written in a certain format may trigger someone who is feeling a whirlwind of emotions. Lashing out might give an immediate sense of relief,but believe me they most likely feel a sense of guilt afterward. Be happy in your accomplishments and your well earned happiness. Just hope others may gain the same. Don't let it bother you. Think of it as being a martyr for an invdividual's change in perspective. They may get angry or jealous and write hurtful things, then they may go out and change their own life situation. You never know how another person is feeling. How they act, speak, and write are only a quick window.

On 10/8/2018 at 7:37 PM, nirah007 said:

Oh @RiverLight I too sometimes feel the same way n feel like ranting out. Sometimes I tend to blame myself for my lack of proper words n understanding that lead to people condemning me.

We do our best to guide people n show them the way, but it’s up to them to take it. We can lead a horse to the water, but we can’t make it drink.

And if it won’t drink, just leave it. Toxic people are always there. That’s another skill we need to learn as we progress - how n when to leave toxic people 

I so appreciate the truth about toxic 

people and the things they say and do

23 hours ago, Rose Chavez said:

Words carry weight. Sometimes a simple thought, written in a certain format may trigger someone who is feeling a whirlwind of emotions. Lashing out might give an immediate sense of relief,but believe me they most likely feel a sense of guilt afterward. Be happy in your accomplishments and your well earned happiness. Just hope others may gain the same. Don't let it bother you. Think of it as being a martyr for an invdividual's change in perspective. They may get angry or jealous and write hurtful things, then they may go out and change their own life situation. You never know how another person is feeling. How they act, speak, and write are only a quick window.

that's very optimistic of you, but I don't have much hope for toxic people. Once toxic, rarely do they change and rarely do they feel remorse. They care about themselves foremost. 

Determination is a fantastic quality in a positive individual. When applied negatively it is such a smear on one's capability to promote good. 

 

On 10/17/2018 at 5:39 PM, Rose Chavez said:

Determination is a fantastic quality in a positive individual. When applied negatively it is such a smear on one's capability to promote good. 

 

Omg, it sure is!!! I love the way you worded that..... such a smear... hehe. And so true! Applied negatively, it has the opposite effect and ramifications.