I think the biggest "trigger" in my life is my boss. I need to figure out exactly what it is about him that makes me loathe him so badly. It's gotten to the point where if I hear him talking down the hall, or even if he coughs, my guts clench and I feel like jumping out the window to hurtle towards the ground below. I dread seeing him. He has this thing where he simply barges into my office with his notebook and closes the door. It makes me physically sick when he does this. He starts ticking off projects and tasks, expecting me to respond immediately w/o time to think. If that isn't bad enough, he'll ask something like, "what are the top 3 takeaways from the meeting we had yesterday?" Again, he expects an immediate response from me. I'm one of those people who doesn't think quickly on his feet...I need time to put together a reasonable response. He doesn't give me that opportunity.
Yikes! Just now, I heard the door at the end of the office hallway open. I jumped 3 feet off of my chair. Then I realized he's not here this morning so it was merely some coworker coming in. But my blood pressure and heart rate spiked for a few seconds. It's a Pavlovian response...as soon as I hear that door open, I go into panic mode with the thought he's marching towards my office in order to yank me around with his "pop quizzes".
Other people get p!ssed by his behavior too. But they aren't as paranoid about him as I am. It's hard to not think he's singling me out. Especially since he put me on probation after 29 years of working at this place. Retirement can't come soon enough...but it will never come actually, because I'll never be able to afford it.