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Ever envy the dead?

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I do.

The dead don't have to live.

They don't have to experience pain anymore.

They don't have to cry.

They don't have to feel the depression inside.

They don't have struggle.

The dead are free.

I long for freedom.

I am always feeling trapped. 

I long to be free.

Life is stifling. 

Death is freedom. 

I envy the dead. I understand why those decide suicide. 


It hurts SO MUCH to live.

To live like this.

It is so painful. 

I want to stop hurting. 

I envy those in death. 

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I envy them, but I'm not sure I'm ready to join their ranks yet.

I need to learn how to be happy. Looking at the sky can make me happy momentarily. I watched the moon at midnight last night. It was almost joyful to do that.

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