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You have no rights to take your own life


Joyandsmile

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Your lives are given by your parents. You have no rights to end your own life.

Do not be involved in sexual immorality or any bad habits.

Love yourself and do not taste the forbidden fruit before you can take responsibility on yourself.

Stay away for negative people, they will only drain you.

Work hard and do what is right.

 

Seeing at all these, I can only be ashamed of myself.

Growing up, I never know what loving myself means. I put myself out there as a slut to be toyed by men.

I living my everyday life, wanting to end it most of the times.

I am starting to wonder if my lack of interest in things is because I am depress or i am lazy.

I have no perseverance in things i do. I never dug into things deep enough to be proficient in them.

I am lead, mainly by emotions, go where my heart wants to go, and later on, when my heart changes, so does my action.

I am the negative people whom people wants to stay away from.

Looking at my peers, succeeding in their lives, visiting other countries, excel in their career, having a sweet grand wedding, having the beautiful body shape that they had 10 years ago, having besties to share their life with, happily chasing their dream. I envy. I hate myself for not being able to do any of those.

My life is not bad. I have a loving dad who provides for me and my daughter, who will always got my back. I have a beautiful and joyful baby who is the only thing from me that i am proud of. I have a not-rich but a husband that love me. I have enough.

I have enough. but.. they have more. I couldn't stop myself from comparing. Having family support and with my intelligence, I should have achieve more in life. But no, because i am too emotional driven. No, because I have unstable emotions and distorted perception of life. No, because I am simply too lazy.

What will I get out of this life? Will I end up being the person I fear the most? The one who breath her last breath regretting not living the life given? Perhaps I will end my life in regrets and fear for hell.

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