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Empty Shell

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It's come around again,

the emptiness, the despair, the utter shell like personality I'm now portraying. I can't motivate, pick up or talk myself round.

People can see me, but I'm not there, I'm not behind the eyes they see, I'm locked away in the far reaches of my mind. Stuck, alone, unable to speak out.

I tired breaking up with my girlfriend  for her own good but she won't let me. I don't understand why she still wants me when it's so obvious she'd be so much happier without me. She talks to people we've met with so much ease, making friends and having long conversations that last till the early hours of the morning. Why would she even notice me if I was to leave? She's a better human than I'll ever be and I'm just never going to be good for her. 

For the first time in a long time I can't be positive, I can't see the potential changes or talk of my feelings of hope. I feel nothing but this negativity and maybe an end to something.

~ A Troubled Traveller 

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