Another rejection, another piercing stake through my rib cage. At this point I feel hollowed out, numb infact. Maybe that's just how I cope nowadays. I have no more motivation for today to make myself feel good enough again. No more mental strength to pull me out of this isolated ditch. She's supposed to be my partner but I just feel shunted left, right and center. I know I feel alot stronger emotions than most people but that knowledge changes nothing.
'ACT' fails to help me on this occasion.
I've realised for a long time now that the world just doesn't make sense to me. The people, their actions, the trends. The way society is, completely bewilders me to the extent where I just don't feel like I belong. Animal cruelty, false allegations, mass shootings, absolutely ridiculous leaders - are just some of the things I read about this week. It's so destressing not being able to understand why things are the way they are.
I don't want to be here anyone, not this country, but this world, this life. So many overwhelming emotions are coursing through my consciousness it's hard to focus on anything else.
I'm beginning to think I'm more than just merely over-emotional.
~ A Troubled Traveller