We haven't been the same for a long time but recently we've been worse than ever.
We both say we want to try and get this back on track but there seems to be a lack of anything either of us is doing.
I suggested giving us some time alone apart as we are together moreorless consistently and we've had some space from time to time but not much has changed.
Being in this position makes me unbelievably uncomfortable, insecure and confused to maximum possible levels. It's so bad I'd rather us just break up but I don't want that - I want us to be..well.. US again. I want us to have that spark back, that intensive electric bolt that once flowed through us as though we were ourselves creating an epic lighting storm.
I'm so torn. We're not in a good place but I seem to be the one who's suffering the most. All the thoughts, the stories, possible outcomes, things I've done, things i could have done. I seem to think of nothing else and it's eating me alive.
I'm expecting the worst, but the 'worst' may actually feel better than the unwanted stuck limbo that this is.
2018 is looking.. troubling.
~ A Troubled Traveller