I really don't want to lay around stewing in my own bad thoughts. It crushes me when someone even implies that it's what I'm choosing to do. It's not a choice, only a moron would choose it. I want to be active, useful, and motivated. On the rare occasions I can power through the depression and at least act like I'm those things, I find myself relatively happy. Today I cleaned my room, organized my drawers, washed my clothes and my bedding, actually folded those clothes and replaced the bedding, did a pain in the ass job for my neighbor I've been putting off, and cooked dinner for my grandparents. I even managed to shower and shave after all of that was done, lol. So now I'm feeling comfortable and accomplished, which is kinda sad when I really think about it...wow, I had a day where I was able to act like a normal human being! Well done! But it doesn't change the fact that I'm pleased with myself, and for the first time in weeks, I feel like my exhaustion might actually be stronger than my insomnia, and I have hope - a little - that I'll be able to get something resembling a normal night's sleep tonight.