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I Want to Go Off Meds


RiverLight

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I want to go off all meds, except maybe Ativan for my anxiety. I am sick of changing psych doctors due to changes in health insurance carriers, and I am sick of trying to find a doctor who will see me after regular business hours. I have changed psych doctors three times in the last three years and therapists at least six times. I am so tired of it all. I don't know how I would be if I went off my A/D or Abilify, and it's probably not a good idea atm given the stress I am under. My therapist would probably tell me absolutely not! I am sure that's exactly what she'll say. But I want to go off of them so freaking badly. I don't want to be dependent on meds anymore..... I don't want to be dependent on meds for the rest of my life, even. But one time I went off Abilify I had to be hospitalized, so I cannot have that happen again. I refuse to get back in the hospital.

I want to curse my conditions right now. I wish it were not so. But it is what it is and I must accept it. For the most part I do, but right now, I am a bit resentful. Argh. :/

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