Has anyone else thought about what people do or think about when you die? I do and I have. To think about when people get the news your dead and gone, how many people are going to miss you? How many people will know I am even gone? How many people even care? Who will saddened by this news? Who might even be glad to hear it? I have thought about all those things, and even people on here yes you guys too. I find it truly saddening to think you might be talking to someone on here and then you stop hearing from them and you have no idea what has happened to them. Like if I was gone tonight and no one here ever heard from me again none of you would know what happened 97% of you wouldn't even care. The answers I have thought of to those questions make me uneasy some answers are really easy to answer and some are not. I am alone emotionally no one wants what I have to give. I am half way to a promise I made myself at 19, at the age of 50 if I am still alone I am going to end it all. But at this rate it would be before the age of 30, at this rate I don't want to see my birthday next year. I would rather be dead. Doing that is "selfish" how? So is going to the doctor when sick selfish? Is going to a psychologist selfish? I have never understood how it was selfish. Your making your pain go away, your ending your sufferings. How is that selfish? It's no different then someone self medicaiding themselves, the only difference is death. It's a take this once and all your problems are gone. Think of all the people you hurt by doing it, in many cases what other people. It's not like I have a wife and kids waiting for me needing me. Friends I have very few of those like two. They might miss me or might not hard to say. I have wished so many times to die, I wished I was never born. I want it all to go away I want to die.