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dying a slow death


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my mind is slowly k*lling me. it already took away my self esteem, its diligently working on my will power. it has beat up pretty badly my concentration. its working on sucking the interest out of leaving the house to do things i like. 
its like a slow disease eating at me until i no longer have the will to fight. i usually fight back but i think im getting weak.
is it pathetic that online anonymously is the only place i can vent? 

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I don't think it's.pathetic at all.

The so called "real" world isn't.always as we think. Certainly not as understanding anyhow.

Btw, I get every word you say. 

So.sorry you feel this way too.


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No it isn't pathetic for coming here to express how you are feeling. I know exactly how you are feeling and going through right now. I went/am going through the same thing right now. The only way it will get better is for you to say how you feel and to express yourself. I know it is scary to say what you are thinking and feeling, but when you finally let these feelings and most inner demons out you will feel so much better. I am here for you if you need to talk. 

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I could not have described my current mental state better.... thank you for taking the time to do so.  This forum and my therapist are about the only people that I can describe the full extent of my distress. We are not pathetic. 

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Hey allalone6, you are in fact not alone. The despair and hopelessness that comes from this damn depression has totally taken a toll on my mind. I can't think straight anymore and the only real relief that I get is when I can sleep. I wake in the morning not wanting to get out of bed, because I just don't want to deal with the nothingness that is my life. I have dealt with this damn depression for all of my adult life and most days I just want to go ahead and end it once and for all. But I don't and that makes me even more depressed. I try to fight this darkness too but it mostly overtakes me in the end. These past few years I have become somewhat of a hermit, not willing to leave my house much, so I just exist in my own little screwed up world accomplishing nothing. But I will not give up, in hopes that my darkness will one day lift...

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