He Just Doesn't Care ~ Forget Him
Entry posted by RiverLight ·
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Now I think he just doesn't care, that he doesn't care enough about me to even be friends. That the friendship we had wasn't special or important enough to him. Mind you, it was a short time, so maybe there wasn't enough time for him to develop those kinds of feelings and he completely changed his mind. But for me, it was a strong connection, a deeper soul connection, and one that I hadn't felt in quite some time. Guess it wasn't the same for him and did not have a similar impact. And now it's just gone. Just like that he turned his back on me, and all I'm left with are my own thoughts and questions, without his input. So now I think he doesn't care. I also cannot help but think that I scared him off because I fell in love with him, even though he said he was falling in love too. Maybe I'm misguided, but it certainly felt like I was falling for him. Maybe it's too soon to say I'm actually "in love" but I felt myself going down that road. And in time and if we were meant to be romantic partners by some higher power, maybe I would have given him all of me, mind, heart, body and soul. But now that won't happen. He said we were brought together for a reason, and I thought so too. But I didn't think that reason was meant to be so short-lived. Whatever it is, it hurt me and I don't like it. I figured he would have been back in touch by now, but he doesn't care about me. I am always getting disappointed and hurt. Well no more. I am so done with it all and forget him since clearly he could care less and has thrown me out of his life so heartlessly. Clearly he doesn't care for me the way I cared for him. He said he always hurts those who get close to him. Well change the behavior that hurts people, then. Own up to it and change it if you don't want to hurt and lose friendships or potential relationships. Wish he could read this right now. As mentioned before, my heart is closed and locked away for good now. No one can hurt me now. I will not let them in. My girlfriend this weekend talked about dating from a Buddhist perspective of non-attachment, which is what I am going to do. She said give yourself to the person, but just approach it all like it's an experience to embrace fully and that you can have many of them without getting attached to the person or an outcome. So I am going to practice a Buddhist philosophy of dating.
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