I made a move on a girl that I've known for a while as friends. She rejected me. But that's okay cos at least I had the courage to make the move.
Again I'm going to a foreign country. I've visited that country once before. Last time I had a traumatic experience where I didn't realise that I needed to approach two girls and try to make a move, and they ended up leaving. It was like the Twilight Zone cos it's almost the only time a girl let alone two girls have shown interest to me like that. I haven't ever watched the Twilight Zone though so I'm not sure if that's applicable. The reason I'm going there again is to partially face my demons, but also cos just overall I got a feeling that I'm slightly more attractive there than home cos I separate from the crowd a little bit, I think in a good way. Not that I'd be a player or anything, but maybe I could convince someone to be intimate with me in a span of two weeks. Maybe two different times with different girl even.
One of my biggest handicaps though is that I have a stomach disease that doesn't really get easier even though I got medicine from pharmacy. That's why I can't be out that much, which means less chances to meet a girl.
My social handicap doesn't really come into play cos I plan to get drunk. I mean, of course I'll always have bad persuasion skills, but in terms of social anxiety, being drunk helps a lot.
I feel kind of dirty/lewd writing this blog post. But these are just my thoughts, unfiltered.
Of course my ultimate goal is to find a gf and hopefully she'll be my wife and we'll have kids. Even though prolly it would be hard to have a gf from a foreign country. Prolly I will have to face my demons sometime to speak my native language online and try to get a gf that way, from the same country as me. But I'll crash that bridge if I come to it.