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Bored Loser

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I have nothing to do. I'm talking to actually two girls online, one of them is more of a friend and the other one I'm hoping that maybe more than friends. But I'll prolly screw up the latter relationship by suggesting that I maybe visit her city, which prolly would be ridic for two reasons. First is she prolly doesn't like me that way. I mean there has been maybe slight hints, but maybe not. Second is that it's way too soon, we've been only talking for a week now. Also I live kinda far from her so it would appear maybe kinda desperate to suggest a visit. The truth is I am desperate. And bored to death. What the **** do people do so they won't get bored all the time? I don't get it.

And it's not like I'd just want to have sex with her, like I hope that maybe first gf and then wife and stuff. I don't think it adds the desperation that I wanna be serious with her. In my opinion what would be more desperate if I just wanted to have sex with her and then move on from her. Edit: Or maybe it's just he opposite, but I'm allowed to have my own opinion.

This has been such a loser post, but I just wanted to get my feelings out. Like I'm just tired of this life that I'm living. I'm so lonely. Prolly she will stop talking to me after I make the suggestion. And I will regret it and again I screw up a relationship. Has kinda happened to me before. I hate myself. People tell me I'm a nice person. She has told me I'm a nice person. But like I'm still a desperate loser. My life is but a joke.

People can give advice and stuff if they want. But please don't tell me I'm a desperate loser cos it feels worse coming from someone else. I honestly think I have a good heart.

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