It's not even a game, really. It's a bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad habit. Or a compulsion? Or just a negative result of my avoidant personality. Anything uncomfortable--so, basically, a lot of frickin' things!--is something I'm willing to put off as long as possible. Maybe there was a time when I could put things off and get away with it (youth and helicopter parents can be a privilege), but those days are far gone now. But I never learn.
I'm so mad at myself. And I know I'll procrastinate again, because I never learn. I'm too old to keep making the same mistakes, but I don't know if I have the strength to change. I just keep making messes that make my life even more difficult than it has to be. Why, why do I do this?? GAH!
Now I'm ruminating, my heart's beating too fast, and I can't distract myself from that feeling that the sky is falling (or about to any second). I'm so angry with myself, and I feel so dumb. All I can do is hope that I'm catastrophizing (which I do do at times). I'll see I guess.