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I keep making mistakes. A lot of them are involved in my social life. I'm alone. I'm frustrated. I hope I don't screw up so badly that my situation gets really bad. Emotionally I'm already a wreck. If something happens to me physically, I'll prolly **** myself. 

I don't wanna say what kind of mistakes I might make/am making, but I just fear that something's gonna happen to me. 

It's easy to say that I should avoid making those mistakes by taking no risks, but then I would just live my boring life deeply depressed, like I often am. 

Maybe I've seen more sunsets than I'm about to see. At least it comforts me a little bit that if things get really bad, I likely can take my own life. 

I'm sorry that this post was so negative and mysterious, but I just wanted to write this. In May I will probably write another post to tell my thoughts then, cos I'll be in a different place at least physically, maybe even emotionally. 

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