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Your Opinion Required....?


samdiva

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I am genuinely asking you all to give me an honest opinion. (I know this is a very short account of the whole situation but these are the main important facts).

Me and my bf have a great connection. The way I feel around him, I never feel/felt like that with anyone else. There is no doubt that I really Love him and I feel I am very invested in this relationship. He also loves me a lot and tries to make it work. We have had and still keep having really amazing times together. You can say talking with him.... spending time with him is so easy and relaxed. And its the same for him too.

But there are many issues going on with us... the main one is that he has a tendency of lying or hiding stuff... emotionally manipulating things... sometimes without even knowing. This has led to a lot of mistrust and frustrations. I have tried to understand his issues and also help him, be there for him, forgive him, get mad at him... but its a recurrent thing. Main reason is his own insecurities and the fact that he wants to avoid conflicts or even talk about any sensitive issue. But he also says he lies to me as he is "afraid" of the way I would react to the truth. I would say the latter reason is only half true coz if he would be just honest with me I would not get mad. And he knows that.

This time when he lied and also accepted the emotional manipulation to cover up his lies got out in the open. He is very sorry. he takes responsibility for it and I can see he feels hurt to hurt and mistreat me. However, he does not promise that he will never do this again... all he says is that he does not want to be this negative burden on me. Also all this has been going on since almost a year now. But earlier he would not realize things like this. This is the first time he is accepting the emotional manipulation and all.

We will be meeting this weekend (its long distance... so he is flying from California to Florida) to have a heart to heart conversation. Some part of me says I should give us one last final chance... some part of me says that I am forcing something out of him which he is not capable of doing (honest and healthy relationship)... at least right now.

I keep debating in my head if I should quit on a hopeless relationship or I should fight for us as I am probably the more emotionally stable one right now.

??? don't know which way to go ??? Please share your opinions on this....

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Maybe you try to give your relationship a shot. If he's aware of what he's doing maybe he can figure out how to deal with it. Relationship is not all about roses and sunshine. It has ups and downs, rough and smooth patches and it depends on both of you how you will take it and work it out. You seen the good and bad in him so do you think you can handle that. If yes, then go.If not, then it's up to you to let go or keep him. Talk it out, sometimes communication is the best way to solve things. Hope, this will help.

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Hi samdiva,

  Acceptance on his part means acknowledging his shortcomings and if he tried to figure things out and show you he is doing something about it, maybe it means he wants to work things out. It's up to you if you give him a chance or not. Action speaks louder than words.

  Talk about it with him and sort things out. Relationship is not all about sunshine and roses, it has ups and downs too. If you seen both of it in him. Ask yourself if your willing to accept that. If you can handle or can't in a long run, will you feel no regret letting him go.Will you give your relationship a shot to see if he has change or not. It's up to you.

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