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I was really short and thin when I was a child. Also I have Asperger's. That's why I kinda got left out of social circles starting from age 7. Then when I hit puberty, there was some change of course, but still I was left looking very young, short and thin. Maybe what worsened my condition was Crohn's disease, so it's possible I would've developed more without that.

So I never got invited to parties and I never talked to girls. I just fully realised this today. I was downtown and I saw young people having fun and there being parties at a couple of apartments. Of course no-one paid any attention to me cos I look like 13 or 14 or something. I am 22.

The only relationship I've had was 2 years long, but it was to a gold digger. Of course I didn't realise it at the time. I mean I guess I should've known kinda cos she had her teeth done and skin done and bought bags and clothes and all sorts of stuff. She leeched 50k off me.

So I guess the point of this blog post is that I wish I was normal so that girls would like me. I'm such a loser.

If Kanye's next album SWISH sucks, I might just **** myself. I've waited it for so long. At times like these when I'm extra depressed, I ask myself what's the point of living. And I guess the point is that some day MAYBE I'm gonna find a girl that I have kids with. But it's gonna be so long from now so might as well **** myself. I don't know. I'm not gonna do it right now, but I'll strongly consider if Kanye drops a lackluster album.

I realise my previous blog post was kind of about the same subject, so I'm sorry about that. Hopefully I have something else to say next time.

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