In recent weeks I have been feeling better than earlier. I'd say I'm not depressed anymore. I'm taking mood medication so that might affect. Also my Crohn's has improved slightly. I'm eating like a powder that I bought from pharmacy. I stir it into yogurt and it's just like muesli so it tastes okay, so that actually has helped my disease so I'm feeling better mentally too. Finally the third thing that has maybe helped me is getting back to poker, my old job. I consider it a hobby now though cos my disease makes it harder to play. I have no girlfriend at the moment or just friends even. When I play poker, I'm concentrated on that and I don't feel lonely. Also I have been doing okay at it, I have won some money.
Certainly things could be worse. I listen to music. I like Kanye West particularly. Music definitely lifts up my spirit. I like myself. My money situation is good. I am confident that I can live a moderate lifestyle without running out of money till I die. Moderate lifestyle meaning that I can still go to a restaurant sometimes or buy like one item per month that I don't really "need". This paragraph became a little incoherent, haha, sorry about that.
I am supposed to follow a pretty strict diet so that could make my Crohn's a bit better. The problem is that I'm too lazy/too self-indulgent to follow that. That is just my decision. It's like if I made the effort and started to follow it, I would have to do that for the rest of my life. And I think that's just not me, that's too hard for me. That's my decision. This is my life.
I'm hopeful that a new medication will help me. It has not been started yet for me, but soon it will be. I guess the point of this blog post is that my Crohn's could be better, but it has been worse. And my mood could be a little better, but it could be a lot worse.