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I haven't been on in awhile because I just have been scared about opening up I guess... So I am a little over 9 months clean and sober. Its the hardest thing that I have ever done in my life. My depression has been getting the best of me and I don't know how much longer I can keep going like this. I want to give up so badly. Just to be gone and pain free. Thats all I have ever wanted.. So how do I keep going when I have no more fight left in me. Everyone says it gets better but it never does... so what am I supposed to do?

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Congratulations for being clean & sober for 9 months!!! That's a major step in the right direction even if you feel it hasn't helped (Yet?).

Ref. What are you supposed to do? That rather depends on what you've tried so far. I don't think anybody can ever get around to trying 'everything', so maybe it's a matter of looking for what next might help.

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I remember a recovering addict in the show Intervention saying that it's not because you're sober that life becomes easy. It might even become more difficult because you are lucid enough to see the sick stuff that happens all around.

If depression is getting out of hand maybe it's time to change medication, and/or get in therapy.

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