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Drinking, Part 2


JD4010

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OK, it's early in the morning and I have absolutely no desire to drink. Most likely, the craving will begin ramping up early in the afternoon. This is the start of day 9 of sobriety.

I'm essentially broke after the divorce. I'm living very cheaply. No cable, phone or internet in the apartment. I can't afford to buy "stuff". I don't even have a microwave.

I do have a roof over my head, a furnace that works and a bus pass to get around town. I also have a beater of a vehicle that I drive only rarely. It needs a whole LOT of work, but I'm not able to spend any money on it right now.

I can't get out of town...I'd love to fly or drive somewhere fun. New Mexico and Alaska are calling my name. Can't afford it though.

I don't have a credit card. That means I can't even rent a car. Well, I could, if I give them a monster deposit. No can do.

Drinking is an affordable vacation for me. Only $8 and I can leave reality for a brief while. Sometimes it seems worth it. Actually, most of the time it seems worth it.

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During my recent depressive episode this past week or so (still ongoing depression but slowly improving) I increased my drinking to the point where I was getting physically sick and also feeling much, much worse mentally.

Hang in there JD. I have been away from DF for months.... so it's awesome to see you're still here :)

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"Drinking is an affordable vacation for me. Only $8 and I can leave reality for a brief while. Sometimes it seems worth it. Actually, most of the time it seems worth it. "

I know this all too well. I'd spend exactly $5.01 on two forties of malt liquor and get destroyed all night, maybe rail lines if something was available. I often fantasize of travel too or meeting the coolest of friends and my ideal partner, but since it's not the reality.... booze was a cheap alternative to feeling sh!tty.

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