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Tomorrow Is Mothers Day. Feeling Indifferent About It.


Lustforlike

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Tomorrow is Mothers Day, I feel like I'm obligated almost to get her 'something' even though she doesn't deserve anything in my books. She hasn't been a mum at all to me, besides birthing part just her 'offspring' and nothing more. The relationship I dreamed of having as a kid was none existent and still non-existent, I try to pretend she's dead. We never had any talks, never did anything together, she put me down growing up, she treated my step sisters like gold, spoiled them, did t things with them, and excluded me. ETC. I don't know why exactly she changed, but I remember when my half sister was born, things changed permanently.I was 8 when my half sister was born. I assume her boyfriend/step dad had a lot to do with it. I never did anything to deserve this, my half sisters to this day don't think there's a problem it's cause she never put them through what I went through. They were spoiled, and have that spoiled attitude, "they're always right". I avoid them as well. They're part of the problem. I've tried numerous times to 'reach out' each time with no success. I would call her, she would never answer, or she would hand it off to my sister and my sister would answer I wouldn't get to talk to her at all. Always some excuse. I'd confront them both on this but no success. Told my sister she's part of the problem, doing that but denies there's an issue. I've given up by now. It's whatever. Only makes me feel sad thinking about this. Other times, I'd confront my mum that she never calls, then she said I never answer. She's never tried to call me, I have call logs and shown this but still this weak straw like answer. I get it, she doesn't want to change. I can only think of thing she mentioned once, she said that my dad treated me better than she did her. So I assume she's jealous of our relationship. I don't know why, she's the one who cheated on him, and left him and she has the nerve to say that. My dad worked very hard to save money for a house, but she did that to repay him. And somehow holds me to blame for her own actions. I was just a kid. My dad felt bad for what she has done to me emotionally, so he has spoiled me a bit and has tried to be both parents. I just don't really want to get her anything. But people who don't know the whole situation will play it off as if I'm this horrible daughter if I don't get her anything they don't understand, they won't understand, I've tried to talk to it but people they refuse that this is the case. My dad understands the dilemma. He said, she's still my mum, even though not in the way you wanted her to be, get her a card. Ever time I look at all the nice mother day cards I want to cry. Nothing in the description fits her. Only one I can think of is having one that says "Happy Mothers Day, thanks for birthing me. I don't know what to do. I'll probably have to cave in, to prevent the others negative attitudes that come about if I were to do nothing.

;(

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