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Fragile


SpaceAce

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I am feeling very fragile at the moment and I hate it. Wish I could just deal with things and just general life situations better.

Today I was shopping for some new shoes and in one of the shops I knocked some socks onto the floor when I was looking at some shoes. The woman working there gave me this really p***** off look and I said "oh sorry I knocked that off" and she didn't say a word and just put it back. I tried to ignore it and keep looking at the shoes but clearly she was so annoyed for something so little. After about a minute another staff came over and asked if they could help me and I said I was just looking. I left feeling so awful and it basically just ruined my day. I don't deal so well when people are angry at me and I spent a few hours after I got home laying in bed feeling like crap.

I think why I feel so bad is that I have been pushed around a lot in my life and it just brings up a lot of bad memories that I would rather forget. I then tried to spend the rest of the day studying for some uni work but I just keep feeling like I'm so stupid and worthless. I hate this.

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That woman is no better than you, try not to let someone like that put you in this state of mind. In fact, next time if someone acts like that just knock something else off the rack and make it look really obvious. Then tell her, "Now you have something to be annoyed at."

We already have enough to deal with in our lives without people like this adding to it. I hope these feelings pass quickly for you and tomorrow is a better day.

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This reminds me of a concept in CBT called TRAP. It stands for Trigger-Response-Avoidance Pattern. In your story, the trigger was the angry lady, the response was a depressed mood, and the avoidance was laying down in your bed for hours. While studying CBT I learned that that kind of avoidance only makes feelings worse and spiral down. I learned to find alternate, healthier responses to triggers, that stop the downward spiral. The idea is to replace the TRAP by a TRAC, which means Trigger-Response-Alternate Coping. What could you have done other than lay down in your bed for hours that would have been healthier?

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