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Fantasy Land & Motivational Nonsense



Lately, I've been getting unreasonably angry at any kind of "inspirational" or "motivational" quote/image. You know those cliche pictures you see on facebook (or anywhere on the internet, really)... with overdone backgrounds and pretty little words telling you to appreciate some aspect of life? Just seeing them makes me absolutely furious. It's insane. I know those kinds of things have always irked me... because they seem naive and they typically find their way to me through self-righteous people... but how upset I've been getting lately isn't really justified.

Is it because I loathe myself and my own mindset so much that anything positive just strikes a chord with me?

Or is it because these dull words really have no meaning anymore? Especially to people who are suffering?

Does everyone naturally find comfort in those types of images/words or are they more to boost the self-esteem of people who think they already accomplish those things/that positive perspective?

My therapists like to tell me that it has to do with point of view. That positive people find the "good" in the worst situations and that I should learn to do the same... but isn't that... wrong on some level? I mean, I'm not saying it can't be good for someone's well-being... to always see the best in people and in life... it's probably very comforting. But if you're looking at something that's predominantly negative and forcing it to be positive... isn't that insanely irresponsible? It feels like a lie. Does everyone go around lying to themselves about how messed up the human aspects of the world are or does everyone just choose not to see it?

That being said, I've become increasingly unproductive lately. I play video games or get lost in my various shows/movies. It's gotten so bad that sometimes I mix the fantasy worlds with real life. Those interactions start seeming like genuine memories. I've even caught myself thinking about life as if it were a video game... An "I can always just restart from my last save" kind of thing. It's horrible.

So I've been taking a break from games and just... started rewatching old, beloved shows when I need to reduce stress. Now I'm getting too caught up in those. I have no idea what to do. The world as it exists doesn't satisfy me in any way... the future just seems bleak or nonexistent.

How do I go about finding the motivation to get on with my "life" when I can't find an aspect of reality worth holding onto? Anything I could care about is much too far out of my reach.

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I hate those things, too. I also hate people who want to cram their fakey positivity down your throat when there's serious stuff going on in YOUR life that THEY can't possibly understand. I used to be very close to a guy whose mother was like this, and he became the kind of person who would basically put his hands over his ears and go "La la la! La la la!" at the sound of anything the teeniest bit negative. My sister (who's the queen of psychobabble, btw), calls people like this Optimistic Deniers. Fitting, isn't it? XD I think it's great that there's actually a pop psych name for these creeps!

I agree with you that they're lying to themselves and to you - which could prove so dangerous if you actually listened to what they said!! I have had two majorly life altering instances in my life, one where I consciously made the decision NOT to allow myself to listen to the masses and their well-meaning, polite positivity (ended up a good call!), and one where I took a leap of faith and listened to someone who was very important to me tell me all about how important it was to take "risks" in life…which landed me in a world of hell, and make a decision I regret to this day.

Some people tell you things they think you want to hear to make you shut up already. That's not selfish or anything, right? ;)

Other people, I swear, they've never had a single horribly wrong thing happen to them, and they've had success denying everything and having it all work out just by chance. Then there are the religious types who….refuse to take responsibility for ANYTHING, and direct you to do the same thing. I'm sure you've run into them. I bet those are the ones who are responsible for most of those flowery FB posts, actually. It's one of the many reasons I've gotten far away from that site. They live a lie, and life just hasn't had the chance to give them good bite on the butt yet.

Therapists….Oh man. I had one actually just tell me to go away and read The Secret once. That was the height of incompetence to me, and that was the last time I saw her.

Sorry to hear about the rut you sound like you're finding yourself in. I'm going through something similar, I think, so I can really sympathize. I always have trouble as the weather gets colder, and I end up trapped in a single heated room in the house with precious little to do. Been trying to fill the time with worthwhile hobbies and cleaning and whatever, but it doesn't really comfort or do much to help me release building stress. The future seems pretty bleak to me, too. I'm not even terribly excited about the holidays, seeing as how I have no money at all. Just trying to take it a day at a time. I hope we both manage to get through this alright before too long. I don't mean to sound like one of "them", but please hang in there. Something's eventually got to give.

Maybe you'll start to feel a bit better once the holidays are behind us. They can be pretty stressful, can't they?

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