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So for the past month or so I have been pretty much stable. At or near my baseline which is not normal, but just "not bad".

Today I wake up feeling achy and a bit down. I always get aches and pains when my depression comes on.

Anyway I was in bed for most of the day, sleeping a bit and thinking, and when I get up it has become clear that I'm depressed again :(

It's back in full force and I feel like sh**.

My thoughts have turned dark, my body hurts, and I just want to retreat into sleep and dreams.

I knew my depression would return, it always does and always has for many years now.

I just wish my streak of feeling "not too bad" could have lasted a bit longer.

Thanks for reading, I had to type this out because I haven't told anyone around me yet...though my brother knows me well and likely can tell when I'm in a depressive episode.



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A feel for you. :(

The last time my depression hit me, was after I had an UP episode, and the reality of being depressed and how different it is from feeling a bit better was just so heavy and ... I think it even depressed me more.

I was told recently that body pains are a sign of anxiety and when the anxiety is too much the body cannot take it and it becomes depression. When something makes us anxious and we suppress the feelings they would pile up ... until it is too much. I'm saying this so you can decide if that might be the case. I don't really know what is your situation.

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I'm sorry it's hitting again. I wish we could all have GOOD days and not just "not bad" ones. I think that's one of the most heartbreaking parts of having depression that other people don't appreciate. We never feel GOOD. Add enough days of that, and it would wear anyone down.

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Thanks everyone :)

Yeah I'm not doing too well. Woke up feeling worse :(

Another problem is that a few local friends of my brother and I are expected to come over later today...ugh, I'm not really up for it at all. Talk about bad timing. I should have some time to sleep some more before they get here fortunately.

Thanks again for your thoughts KS, Absent and Shmooey!!!

I really do appreciate you all :)

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I'm so sorry you are feeling this way AG. I know exactly how it feels. The one thing I would recommend to you is to try and force yourself to stay awake for a while if you can. Sleeping too much can really make the depression worse!

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Thanks Hen.

Yeah you're absolutely right. I slept way too much today and feel pretty bad.

I'll likely try to stay up tonight...it's weird I get dizzy when I sleep too much. Very unpleasant feeling.

Take care Hen!

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