~I often wonder why I get treated like a child, but when I stop and reflect, I realize that I act like one a good deal of the time. Is it possible for one's maturity to stagnate, or even fall backwards? If so, how will I ever stand on my own two feet?
~I spend an exorbitant amount of time trying to talk myself out of how I really feel. Not only do I judge my feelings--which I don't necessarily think is a bad thing most of the time--but I harbor them like fugitives instead of working through them. I'm never able to move on, because that would require exploring how I can change them and then actually doing something about it.
~Sometimes looking in the mirror and realizing that the person looking back at me is supposedly me is completely terrifying and not completely believable. The simple thought that I exist is more than I can do deal with at times, and I don't quite know when this started or how to snap out of it.
~I don't know how to live in the present moment. I live in the past and I live in the future, and the present is like an unloved relative that I ignore and often forget exists.
~I self-sabotage so often and so effictively that I don't even try to stop doing so when I'm conscious of it. It's like a game that I feel compelled to play.
~I feel like I've completely lost control, but I don't feel like trying to get it back yet. I feel like I'm falling in slow motion, and I know I'll eventually hit the ground, but I can't think that far ahead.
~The thing I hate the most about myself is my cowardice. There are times when I know what I should and could do, but just don't because the fear is easier.