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Absent Mind

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I'm No Good!



Who am I? In my thoughts I am this person that has no idea how to be happy so I'm straying away from people. I try to hide that person. I don't go out with people because I can't hide well my bitterness and hatefulness, my cynicism and my negative view on lots of matters. I will always get angry or cause an argument. All I do is alcohol and bring everyone down with me. I'm no good for myself and for other people. I don't know how to be any different. I don't think any therapy or medicine can cure me from myself.

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A, you know what, depression somehow makes one forget all the good parts of one's being, and magnifies all the not-so-good parts.

There have been days and times where I could be so repulsed with the very thought of myself, I wanted to just take myself off, away from my being, and fold it and lock it away in some corner. When the depression gets better, I'm able to get back in touch with the parts of me that I think are the good parts of me and my personality... so now I try to remember that its depression making me think the way I'm thinking. It profoundly impacts just about everything in our being.

To be honest, I can relate to your writing that "no therapy or medicine can cure me from myself", because the depression says similar things to my mind too... I just wanted to write a comment, don't give in to these thoughts, its just thoughts, and not our reality.

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