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Groundhog Day

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DeeBear

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Buzz, one of my cats, has been missing since early this week. At first I wasn't worried, but this is the longest that I haven't seen him. I'm afraid he went out tom catting and got hurt or killed. This is day 4 that I haven't seen him, he's never been gone more than a day or two before.

I've held off writing out of superstition, but this really upsets me. I'm very attached to him and find myself calling him several times a day in case he's nearby.

I just don't think I was meant to be happy in this life. It never stops.

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Hi, DeeBear!

It's been a while since I've checked out the blogs but, I was thinking about you and hoped you'd left a blog post. You were one of my first "depression buddies" here on the DF and you helped me so much as I went through my worst & first bad days of a major depression. I just wanted to thank you! I'll be forever grateful to everyone who helped me and became my cyber friends when I first joined the forums.

You've helped plenty of others over the years, too! It's something you can feel good about, for sure.

I'm so sorry to hear about Buzz, your cat. I know my pets feel like family members and to lose one is a real blow.

I'm not sure why some of us lean more to negative thinking at times in our lives. I've tried to change my thinking and I've made some progress. I've stopped isolating myself so much and have co-workers & friends that keep my busy, help me vent and often, make me laugh. I'm not always "happy as a clam" but, I'm coping.

My always supportive husband is my steady voice of reason and encourages me to find and live on that middle ground where life is solid & sturdy (if not always happy). He can't "make" me think more positive, of course, that's up to me.

All we can do is keep on trying, do the "one step at a time" thing, focus on the good and try to be the good in the lives of others and in our own.

Whoa...a philosophical rant, huh? :rock: :oops:

Good to talk to ya, Dee. Take care of yourself! (I'm holding good thoughts for your cat.)

Hugs,

Aerial

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(((((Aerial)))))

Sorry to take so long to reply to your comments, but there's been lots going on lately.

I have been doing some peer to peer work at the local NAMI house, though it's as stressful as a job sometimes because of the political and religious atmosphere. I don't mind so much when it's people who are accepting of others who don't agree with them, but it's sort of an extreme environment in both cases. Sometimes I feel like I'm in a revival meeting or a political rally where everyone is supposed to agree with everything that's said (and though I'm a spiritual Christian who also admires Buddhism and has been helped by its wisdom) I'm sort of left out. I want out of it, but there was no one else to do it and I agreed to help out until our regular lady came back. She never did. I think DF is a better atmosphere, but I'm stuck there at least for a while.

I'm trying not to isolate - but it's hard. I miss a lot of the people who have moved on here, and of course I miss all the people who have passed away around me in the last couple of years, especially since it's hard for me to reach out. I'm still trying to come to terms with all that's happened, and I expect it to take some time. I envy you and your daughter, having someone to lean on, but relationships are still difficult for me and I've got so much on my mind I wouldn't want to bring anyone into this mess I call my life right now - I don't even have time to think about it anyway.

I'll post a new entry with some updates, hopefully soon if I'm not interrupted.....

Take care,

Dewayne

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P.S. Thank you for being a friend when I was going through a rough patch, though that was not my first. If depression were a martial art, I'd probably be a black belt by now.

Take care,

Dewayne

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Your work with the support group sounds a bit like a tight rope walk. I've been in those kinds of groups. I could get "on board" for a while but, after a short time, it became a draining experience.

Seems like you are super busy, these days!

People (a lot of them) seem to come and go on forums. I miss the "regulars" I came to know here on the DF.

I'm glad you're still around!

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(((((Aerial)))))

I really wish someone would take over, and yet, in a way, I know it's helpful to everyone - myself included - but I get aggravated by some things that are said outside of group sometimes. I just don't think that's the proper setting to bring up subjects that are likely to lead to disagreements and hurt feelings in a place where people suffer from emotional issues. But I'm not running the place, so........ I just do my best to keep my mouth shut.

Been busy again - will write more soon.

Take care,

Dewayne

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