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June 18 2005

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got up feeling very anxious this morning. I just feel that things are piling up physically and mentally. I just seem to collect things and can't get rid of them. Paper, boxes, things, dirty dishes and all the mental detritus. Bought a new cell phone but why did I do that cos I don't talk to many people. I have it just in case but then I worry, worry, worry about buying it and what do I do with the old phone. Problems, problems. And then today looks like the weather is good and I'm thinking I should get out and do some exercise but its such an effort and I've arranged to go out tonight with the people who are the closes things to friends to me (though we don't talk much, except for the 3 times a year we go out for a meal). aaaargh . JKMI deal with tons of anxiety and know how crippling it can be. I would like to throw bunches of stuff out, but then change my mind, thinking I'll need to replace it later. My children have turned into packrats. If I throw something of theirs out, they don't notice. I don't have enough storage for all this excess..... They are saving all their childhood toys, and their closets are full of storage bins. Yikes! We have collections of stuff. I hope it's worth something to them, later on. I have a saying that if we'd ever have an earthquake, you'd better steer clear of the closets.Take care, Fire! You are not alone. Have a good time with your friends and try to forget about all this for a couple of hours. Eileen --I give you permission to buy yourself a phone!!! Whenever you want, whatever color you want. I also give you permission to not worry about the old phone.....I've still got my old computer from last fall sitting on the floor of my kitchen....wanna trade? Hope you had a good time with your pals and that you've enjoyed the weekend!Dan

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