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Orso's Blog

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Blog With Training Wheels

Entries in this blog

 

A Down Day

I hope this is a transient thing and not a new long dip in the depression pool. I need to do some meditating today to sort myself out and prop myself up a bit. wish me well!

Orso

Orso

 

Things Are Happening!

I found out they are looking for another acupuncturist where I work. I want to ask if I can apply. Well, I am scared to do that but I think I need to push myself to make this step. I also found out that a former teacher has a load of editing for me to do after I write the board exam. I am a little scared to do that but will take it on anyway. It is also a good way to review since it's in my field. Wish me luck today.

Orso

Orso

 

Happy New Year Everyone!

Thanks for having me here and giving me a space to hang out. So many good people here at DF. Thanks to everyone who has ever stopped by here to read or comment and thanks to everyone who replied to posts I've made. I wish everyone all the best for 2016. I hope it is a better year for us all. lots of love, orso

Orso

Orso

 

Still Need More Changes

I got some bloodwork done this morning and I hope it will give my T and I some ideas about what to do next. I'm lucky b/c my T is also an MD so she can order tests and make referrals. Anyway, I will continue to take all the vitamins/supplements until we talk. I went for an acupuncture treatment yesterday & a former classmate did the work. He's really good. It was a community setting which was really nice. I have seen them before but never experienced it. It was really pleasant - trea

Orso

Orso

 

Working On It

Today is a sunny almost-winter day. There is no snow, which is strange for this time of year. I need to work harder on feeling better. Yesterday I went for a power-walk and it helped me feel better. I need to make time for that every day. It seems like the physical activity is the missing piece. I already do several other things like meditation, therapy and watching what I eat. My T advised using a lightbox. I have one but it emits a plastic odour when it's on so I haven't used it in ye

Orso

Orso

 

Passed Exam #1 - Gratitude For Your Support

To everyone who sent prayers and positivity my way when I was studying and writing that monster of a board exam: thank you from the bottom of my heart It is by far the hardest exam I have ever written and I couldn't have done it without you. :hugs:

Orso

Orso

 

Carrying On With Meditation

Now that MBCT is finished, I will be meditating on my own and (hopefully) in a group from time to time. I want to see if this makes a difference and I know i need to give it more time. Making it a way of life is probably the best way to do it. Wish me luck!

Orso

Orso

 

Week 9 Mbct

Today is the last of the MBCT series. I am not sure what I feel about it. I could definitely have been more diligent with practicing. But the fact is I did do something almost every day. I hope it has helped - sometimes it is difficult to tell if it has helped for a while. I asked my husband is he noticed anything different about me (confidence, clarity, mood) since the beginning of the & he said he had never even noticed that things were not good for me. Don't know what to make of that. I

Orso

Orso

 

Week 7 Mbct

This will be the third last meeting of the group. I will be glad when it is over. I think I need to be even more diligent about practicing. I also have to give my class their midterm exam today. I hope that will go well. I'm planning on bringing a couple of thermoses of herbal tea for the class to try. That will mean lugging an extra bag around today which I don't enjoy. Hopefully the students will like the tea and it will be worth it.

Orso

Orso

 

Definitely Wk 6 Mbct

So glad I went yesterday. It was a small group - only about 1/2 the usual ppl & some of them were sick but they showed up anyway. I hope they feel better soon. We did a 'mountain meditation' to help us think of ourselves as having the capacity to be solid and persistent as mountains. The other main meditation was to help us learn to explore difficult feelings. That one was harder for me. By the end of the day I felt better.

Orso

Orso

 

Mbct 5 Or 6

Now I have lost count. Anyway, I am definitely going today. Last week I missed the start of the self-compassion section. the group leader sent out the reading materials and exercises. I have a long way to go here as I am not naturally self-compassionate. Now that I have had a chance to do the exercises and read the materials I see that my T is consistently compassionate towards me. I used to think she was 'letting me off the hook' too easily. No, now I think she is just compassionate towa

Orso

Orso

 

Mbct 4

I went this week. It was OK. I did most of the homework (at least one meditation a day). I guess I need to do more than this to feel better. The good thing is, I don't feel worse. It's now 1 wk to the board exam and I am feeling very nervous. I try to get settled to study & I hope it will be enough. I have some acupuncture needles in right now to help with memory and focus. I will also do this daily to see if it will help. It can't hurt. If you read this, please say a prayer for me

Orso

Orso

 

Mbct 5

I chose to stay home and study for the board exam. I have been doing the meditations at home and I believe it has been helpful. Wrote the exam today and am not sure at all how I did - not very confident about my performance. The questions were really challenging and I tried to use my best logic to get the ones I didn't just know (many of them). It's up to The Marking Gods now, I guess. Can't get stuck on this and must keep moving. Yesterday in therapy, something caught my eye when I looked

Orso

Orso

 

Mbct 4

I went this week. It was OK. I did most of the homework (at least one meditation a day). I guess I need to do more than this to feel better. The good thing is, I don't feel worse. It's now 1 wk to the board exam and I am feeling very nervous. I try to get settled to study & I hope it will be enough. I have some acupuncture needles in right now to help with memory and focus. I will also do this daily to see if it will help. It can't hurt. If you read this, please say a prayer for me

Orso

Orso

 

Mbct 3

Going today. Feels like something good to do today. Studying is going alright, as far as I know. I need to continue to build more positivity around me. I hope it is making a difference. Although I am not 100% happy with what feels like a lack of compassion towards others, the new things I am trying are meant to help me. They do feel a bit selfish but perhaps it's time for that. I cannot allow myself to get dragged under repeatedly. I feel I have the strength to stay afloat if I focus on

Orso

Orso

 

Mbct 2

I chose to stay home an study instead. That seemed like more of a pressing need. I'm glad I did. I completed all the exercises for last week. The facilitator sent me the notes and the current week's assignment & I'm already on it. In fact, I will take a break now to do a meditation.

Orso

Orso

 

Mbct 1

Yesterday was the first official meeting of the MBCT group. A cpl of new ppl were there & I met one of them. We did 2 exercises - the raisin eating exercise and a body scan. The homework is to do a daily body scan and to have 1 mindful activity every day. Today i practiced mindfulness on waking - instead of getting all swept up into the unpleasant feeling I have been getting on waking for the past while. We have to record all of this and bring it to the next meeting. Here's hoping thi

Orso

Orso

 

New And Nervous

Today there a 2 things going on. This afternoon is the orientation for an MBCT group. I hope that goes alright & that I learn something. I am trying to manage my expectations about the other people, including the group leaders. After that I will start teaching again. There is a bit of a gap so I plan to go to a library and just keep going over everything. I am so grateful to have an appt with my T tomorrow. Usually I see her Thurs. afternoons but she was able to reschedule me b/c of t

Orso

Orso

 

Embarrassment Of Facebook

So now I find out that 3 ppl I used to work with have passed away. I find this info out when I get notices to wish them happy birthday. I made the mistake of wishing someone a happy birthday and remembering them fondly - several wks later (today) her husband sent me a msg to contact him. I did that and in the meantime I google around and see that she had passed away earlier this year. She was not old but I guess that since we never know when our time's up I should google first and send birth

Orso

Orso

 

Back To Work After Vacation

Tomorrow I have to be as aware and focussed as possible b/c I am getting back to work after having a week off. I feel like I got all mentally flabby and out of shape in that time! I wasn't just loafing the whole time either but I still feel I will need to take extra care to get things right. Vacation was very good and I'm happy I had the time off. It was great to see my husband and cat - they had been out of town for almost the whole summer & I only saw them irregularly. We visited wit

Orso

Orso

 

A Better Day

Going to meditate and hope that helps set the tone for a better day. Wishing everyone all the best.

Orso

Orso

 

Hope I Got It All This Time

Today is the last day of class for the program I'm finishing. It's a business class and I am so glad it's over. what a long haul. I took the course before when I did the first diploma but didn't hand in a business plan. I had some big issues with one of the instructors and didn't know how to raise it with the director b/c they were friends. This time around, the instructor in question wasn't part of the course & it was altogether much better. I hope everything I submitted is acceptab

Orso

Orso

 

Trying On New Stuff

Last night I went to a meditation group. I already do mindfulness meditation by myself. I learned in an MBSR class and got into the habit of daily meditation. I had been to another sitting group after completing a previous MBSR class several yrs ago. The new group is very nice. They actually sing to start and end the evening and there is also some sharing. This is very different from the past group I was part of. I didn't actually ever feel part of the other group. Anyway, when I am in t

Orso

Orso

 

Sorting Through Old Stuff - Literally

On the weekend I finally went to the storage place where I put the last of my mother's things after her passing. My brother kept them at his house for about a year then brought them up here & I put them in storage. I often ignored the bill for the storage & it is on a credit card so I have racked up a chunk of debt I need to get rid of. I spoke to the OH and we will clear a spot in our (small) storage locker in the basement of the bldg and put it there and then try to sell everything

Orso

Orso

 

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzopiclone

Oh my goodness, zopiclone/imovane works. I took a 5mg dose last night and was asleep before 9. I woke up at 6:30 and seem to have slept through a storm that knocked out the power. I am starting to lose the grogginess and am having some tea. I think tonight I'll try just half a tablet and see how that goes. It was nice to just go to sleep and not be waking up hour after hour.

Orso

Orso

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