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About this blog

Spiritual blog

Entries in this blog

House of dreams

The house of broken dreams, Shattered glass and empty halls, echoed memories of screams, Promises made and promises broken, betrayel has now awoken. I walk down the path and what do I find? People who tolerate abuse they don't mind. Loving for all the wrong reasons, staying loyal in abusive seasons, defying all sound logic and enduring treason. The superficial is what makes the love official, what's on the outside determines whether will abide. The rest is moot, lov

Feelings blog

I got dumped a few days ago and have been upset. I talked to the training coordinator of where I work out in hopes of a better bodybuilding program and checked out bodybuilding books from the library. I learned a lot from my exs mom. She was a vegan rocker lady who was obsessed with health and plant based stuff. She also worked at a library and helped me appreciate the value of reading. Just so mad and down in the dumps. People promise to stay and then bail. They are liars, actions spe

What it takes for life to thrive

I have been reading a lot of books lately and thinking about why some humans thrive and others are always sad. I have been a fragile, sad, mercurial person for much of my life but I always found joy in being creative. What I mean is that I was not born a particularly strong person but years of weightlifting, breaking boards with my hands, wrestling and fighting I honed myself into something that belies the docile nature I am. I began to do this as a form of self expression. It rep

What makes a person good

It is about where we are going, not where we came from, Anybody can act nice and put their best foot forward when things are easy. It is in difficult times we find out what we are made of, true colors. I am confident that the people reading the blogs are strong character. We have spent our lives miserable and sad but we never chose to hurt others and one day we will be happy. Whether you believe it or not, my belief in it is so powerful that I will manifest this destiny and the de

What we can learn from bugs

Insects are a very simple form of life that is often looked down on, to be called an insect is to be deemed insignificant or worthless. When I traveled to Thailand while I was in the military to build school houses I met monks and got to see where they lived. They lived in a swampy area and one of the first things I noticed was that the bugs were not afraid of people and that these bugs were also very beautiful, colorful and exotic not like the common bugs I see. To me this always reso

Writing a song

I have this song I often sing when I am alone and I am turning it into piano. For me I like music because people can misunderstand words or not speak the same language. It is easier to communicate with music. For me music breaks the chains of depression. I hope to someday share my music.

Why I think Western culture is behind Eastern culture

In my University years one of the scholarly articles I came across was called "Men who strike and men who submit" This article explained the merits and effectiveness of a grappling martial art despite this style of fighting being looked down upon until it became fake in WWE.  I used to be in the military and did combatives training, we had to watch the first ultimate fighting series in which Hoyce Gracie defeated several men bigger and stronger than himself using Brazillian jujitsu.

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Evergreenforst4 in Culture

The Leper King

I recently played a game called Darkest Dungeon and in that game there is a character who has leprosy. He is a poetic warrior and based on a real king of Jerusalem named Baldwin roughly around the 12th  century who was a great king and warrior despite having leprosy. In theory the leper king is a champion. He wields a giant executioner blade and hits like a truck. He has the best armor and is entiretly self sufficient. He can heal himself and strengthen his resistances and cope without

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Evergreenforst4 in Reflections

Appreciating other people

I previously blogged about being grateful in the past. I think it is also important to appreciate people such as law enforcement and nurses as well as teachers. Law enforcement has a difficult job and 4th of July is one of the hardest times of the year because crime goes up in summer and firework violations and disputes on top of criminals who may try to take advantage of the fact that police are busy. My girlfriend works as a nurse also during times when they are understaffed. This jo

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Critical Race Theory

I recently heard about a critical race theorist named Robin DiAngelo and her story was she grew up poor and did not know any African Americans until she was in her 20s. When she goes to dinner with some friends of her friends she meets an African American couple and proceeds to beleaguer them and later on projects her flaws onto progressives while getting rich off of them. I think it needs to be said, that just like another woman named Rachel Dolezal, white women get rich off of African Ame

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I got back with my first ex and reflections

Like a roller coaster. I decided I was happier with my first ex and we got back together However, after reflecting, I came to an interesting conclusion.. Sometimes being sad or being heart broken can be a good thing. What I mean is when people have all this pain and sorrow if they can transform it into art, passion and expression they can use their weakness as a strength. I guess we are in luck as in life there is never a shortage of jerks or disappointments, it is up to us to tak

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Reflections on gratitude

I got a new girlfriend yesterday but I had to delete all my apps. I was going through pictures of my ex and it made me think about the good times. I also remember when I was with that ex I was thinking about the ex before her and while I was with the first one I did not even like her at first. It seems to me that I do not appreciate people until they are gone from my life. It is quite sad and tragic. When I was single for a few weeks, I thought to myself if I just had a girl I would be

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Facts in the post information era

Along with the outbreak of Covid, there has been another virus spreading like wildfire. The virus of ignorance. In the U.S. there have traditionally been many anti-intellectual movements within history. Part of this is done by pitting science against religion but in the past even Angelican priests and monks contributed to science. We face cultural barriers to science and progress. This is problematic because people should make wise choices better for their health, safety and future. In

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Self control and Rioting

There have been some patterns in the last 4 years that I wanted to share. Trump encouraging people to rough up criminals or offer to pay legal fees. His rhetoric has contributed to both police brutality as well as rabble rousing. The main problem with rioting is that it hurts their own communities. White nationalists come in with UHAUL trucks to plunder their cities, throw some firecrackers and even hurt bystanders and then leave and pin it on the blacks. They are targeting urban servi

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Conservative Values

Trigger warning I am not a conservative person myself but I have seen the decline of conservative values. What I mean is this is the party that abolished slavery and many of these descendents went on to be champions great athletes or performers. It was a party of free markets, free speech, free thought, tough but fair love, agree to disagree and competition to sharpen eachother. Now the party is the party of sexual assaults, corporate welfare, anticompetitive monoplies, a facade o

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*Sensitive topic* Venting

In the U.S. we have a president that mocks and attacks the free press. He speaks graciously to a North Korea dictator who brought that boy Otto Warmbier back in a frankenstein like state. A bone spur draft dodger who mocks gold star families, calls generals dope and babies and writes off traumatic brain injuries. If all that was not bad enough he cuts hurricane funding in the midst of hurricane season and picks on autistic children Greta. He claims to protect safety nets and retirement for

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Afflictions

Afflictions are horrible and sometimes when you reach your breaking point your true character shows. I would prefer people to thrive being happy. I am talking about using afflictions to our advantage. When I am afflicted, that sadness, that anger, the passion I have I can turn it into art, in self expression. I can take something horrible and turn it into something better. People who do this are the kind of people that speak to me and resonate with me. When you have these feelings, tak

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Patience

Something that I have struggled with and I believe is common for many is patience. I observe this when people are driving who want to drive very fast even to pass others in oncoming traffic lanes or motorcycles weaving through. However, while it may seem we save time by forgoing patience and we get our results quicker it is not without risk and cost. For example skipping education to go straight to a job may seem desirable but they may have less future opportunities without the degree. Perh

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Anger

Anger is a powerful emotion and something I often think about. Why do we get angry? I believe we become angry when we percieve something to be an injustice, anger seems to be the natural emotion that flows from this. When mastered anger can be a powerful way to confront injustice but used incorrectly it can have devastating consequences. From my studies I found a proverb 16.32 "Better a patient person than a warrior, one with self-control than one who takes a city." In the midst o

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