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Lifting myself up

Got this online and want to put it somewhere: Think of the amazing things in your life. Think of your family / caring friends / or anything else you value. Be grateful.  Think about what has upset you. Know that it could have been much worse. Visualise the worst case scenario and allow yourself to feel better. This is not that bad. Imagine this difficult situation happening to someone you love. If your best friend is going through the same thing, what advice would you give them? H
 

Anxiety

Still working on it. Talking to people still scares the hell out of me. My job scope in office keeps changing and I have absolutely no clue what I’m doing but it’s scary to voice out. Still having crazy thoughts running around my head. Still doing my best but still hating myself cos this is my best. Still living in the same house with the family that makes me feel like I’m trying to walk around pieces of glass. But it’s all good as long as they don’t talk to me. Just leave me alone and I’m good.
 

I hate myself

What to Do About Self-Hating Thoughts "The first thing to realize is that we are not our critical inner voice, and we are definitely not the person our critical inner voice tells us that we are. Just because we ourselves experience these self-hating  thoughts does not mean that they make up our real and honest point of view. Remember, every one of us is divided in our feelings toward ourselves. The critical inner voice should be seen as an alien point of view, an unwelcome overlay on our se
 

Can’t sleep

Cos I hate myself. Cos I came back. Cos I can’t change. It’s not that hard to change right? I don’t know. I don’t know anything anymore. I just want this feeling to go away. I want to be happy when I wake up in the morning. I want someone to talk to who can understand me. But I’m a terrible person who can’t talk to anyone and don’t understand anyone. I hate myself. Why am I alive? Why am I here? What’s the point of being here? Why am I like this? I actually went overseas last month for a week. I
 

Really?

Some say I’m doing good, keep going at it. But am I, really? Do you think I want to keep going at it as if it’s something fun? I do want to leave this forsaken world, you know. I’m only here cos I DON’T have a CHOICE. Or maybe I’m here cos somewhere deep down inside me there is still that small tiny hope that things will get better. But come on, it WON’T. Life is an endless series of problem. The solution of one problem is merely the creation of the next one. People who can actually die are so m
 

Be wrong. Be foolish. Make mistakes.

And that’s ok. Cos this is life. Don’t beat ourselves up for being human. For living our life. We are not perfect. It hurts, it’s painful, we grow, we learn, we advance to make different types of mistakes, cos life is full of mistakes. So be wrong. Be foolish. Make mistakes.                              And that’s me advising myself. 
 

Sigh

I’m still feeling down. I hate how blessed I am but I don’t know how to be grateful and appreciate them. Why do I always fear being judged. Why do other people’s opinions matter so much. I should not be measuring my worth according to other people’s words and thinking. I Am a worthy person. I have done many things that make me be able to overcome so much. Sigh. So my counsellor gave me an exercise to write down what is one of my negative core beliefs of myself. And below that, write down 3
 

Silver Linings

My first blog post. I’ll just type out everything on my mind, since I’m not so good at writing. I’m gonna try to look at silver linings in my life. I have this bad habit of just staring into space and hating myself and hating everything about this world and end up wasting a lot of time just being unproductive.  So what’s my silver lining for today? Watching SAO. Always makes my Sunday. Going to my religious class, even though I can’t remember what I learned there. And.. borrowing The T
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