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About this blog

Is it selfish to take a step back at the end of each day or the beginning each morning and examine who we are to others, to the big picture and maybe more importantly ourselves? This reflects on the individuals thoughts, actions, feelings, and interpretation of how we relate to the world we create around ourselves compared to our survival in the world created around us. 

Entries in this blog

 

Coming Down From The Clouds

As most of you understand and relate to, having a mental illness or struggling with mental health, often times means a drastic variation in thought process and extreme emotional experiences. Reactions to life events may be quite unusual and even outlandish to those fortunate enough to never have the experience of a "broken brain". Although I no longer see my brain as broken but very unique. I do appreciate my brain but at times it is absolutely exhausting to live inside of me. After a week of tu

Rose Chavez

Rose Chavez

 

Fly Away

Lately I have spent countless, mindless, and imaginative hours with the idea of "Fly Away" somewhere. I have poured my eyes and heart over travel websites late into the night as my sleep has been totally disrupted. I am aching. I am aching throughout my body, mind and soul for something...ANYTHING to make me feel solid. I am aching for attention, comfort, and positivity. Change in my surroundings and routine, along with true rest feels like an absolute necessity right now. As selfish as this all

Rose Chavez

Rose Chavez

 

BULLIED!!!

DEVIANT...DELIBERATE...DERANGED... All the devastating "D" words that describe how a few members of my husband's family member's behavior is towards us (because of me). Constantly I rack my brain over what ignorance or instance of lapsed judgement on my part caused such hatred. As I am one to typically place all blame on myself, naturally I must have conjured Hitler and become a Nazi sympathizer or something similar to attract such hostility and premeditated attempts at total sabotage!!! Tr

Rose Chavez

Rose Chavez

 

PAY ATTENTION YOU!!!

The KEY word was "WERE"!!!  It took reading over my last blog to realize the breakthrough I hadn't  even noticed was accomplished!!! In describing my abusive mother and ex-husband, I wrote that they "WERE" my abusers. Not they "ARE" my abusers. I have worked so very hard on my mental health, to the point of dedication. I owe that to myself, to my child, to my husband, and to the one's who stuck around for me. Paying close attention to that singular and descriptive key word, brought a flood

Rose Chavez

Rose Chavez

 

The Beast...still there.

Spewing venom in a heavy tone, she ran circles around a situation her good senses collapsed. In a chaotic loop, she repeated herself with an unknown intent. Breeding a dramatic whirlwind and lashing out with a cruel mocking tone. This was my mother, reverting back into her old ways. Causing a fight with me just because she couldn't win the one that was occurring in her own head. In the past I had always added fuel to her fires by falling into her arguments. Between the two of us with our inherit

Rose Chavez

Rose Chavez

 

BREAKDOWN

A nervous breakdown is defined as a period of mental illness resulting from severe depression, stress, or anxiety. I say how about all all three combined with a few more issues. Add a dash of wrongful persecution by people that are supposed to accept and love you. Toss in a pinch of what feels like captivity in a broken body. Stir the pan and the outcome is a collapse, a crisis, a desperation which carries a pungent scent trail.  SO then.......The Fiasco ensues. Every last drop of trauma ha

Rose Chavez

Rose Chavez

 

BROKEN

Absolute Chaos, is the only way to describe the situation of one working elevator in a downtown high rise. A high rise consisting of over 300 apartments filled with unstable human beings suffering a pleathera of illnesses. The considerable majority has at least one mental illness or disease, a physical handicap, or are burdened by the disease of addiction.I myself fall into all three of these categories, I am a recovering alcoholic, I suffer neurological damage so I am at this time learning to w

Rose Chavez

Rose Chavez

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